Journals - Temenos Catholic Worker

"For I handed on to you as of first importance what I had in turned had received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures and that he was buried and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. ..But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me has not been in vain"(I Corinthians 15:3-6, NRSVeu).)

"Also every six years I would save up a second tenth in money and go distribute it to the orphans and widows (Tobit 1:7-8). .Prayer with fidelity is good and alms giving with righteousness is better than wealth with injustice. It is better to give alms than to lay up gold for alms giving saves from death and purges away every sin. Those who give alms will enjoy a full life" (Tobit 12:8-10)

The two passages in the book of Tobit illustrates our mission on our way of life following Christ. Besides feeding and caring for people, he also buried the dead each evening, the Jewish dead, killed by the conquers. If he had been caught feeding the hungry or burying the dead he would have been executed, these were dangerous tasks. Tobit believed all humans should be loved and respected.

There is a priest in Florida who feeds the hungry on the street, and is now being fined $200,000 for feeding the hungry outside. In many ways not much has changed through 2000 plus years.

We are all on the way in life, and we encounter obstacles like cold and darkness, fear, doubt prejudice which prevent us from moving forward, but Saint Carlos Acutis reminds us "Noble titles and money mean so little, what really counts in life is the nobility of the soul or the manner in which we love God and neighbor. .all men and women are created by God."

"Dare to declare who you are," wrote St. Hildegarde of Bingen, in the twelfth century, following the words of Paul "I am what I am!" both expressing their authentic self, and not expressing our "authentic" selves is one of the primary reasons we become suicidal.

Time after time I am told in listening to individuals who are suicidal: "I can not please my father, mother, husband, wife, unless I become what they want me to become," . . ."I don't want to live that way, but the way I want to."

I have gone through the same cycle of trying to please others; my life is completely different in a lot of ways, accept that I am following Jesus in the way he calls me, and I am satisfied, contented.

Suicide Prevention is bearing witness to the stories in the lives of people in their struggles and through caring and listening bringing them to their authentic selves. We never place our expectations on others, we simply listen, be present, and celebrate their authentic expectations.

I know my earthly time is short! I am following Jesus of Nazareth in his footprints of walking down the roads. My prayer is that this be a year of all of us exploring new paths and sharing our bread with others through being aware of the very drastic needs on the street, in our schools, and in society in general. Be a listener, a carer and remember that we too value the footprints that others have left so that others can move along the same path! A path of love! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

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"When you live in culture war mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love!"

(Dan White).

=================

The Trevor Project is an American nonprofit organization founded in 1998. Focused on suicide prevention efforts for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth, they offer a toll-free telephone number where confidential assistance is provided by trained counselors. The stated goals of the project are to provide crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for youth (defined by the organization as people under 25), as well as to offer guidance and resources to parents and educators in order to foster safe, accepting, and inclusive environments for all youth, at home, schools and colleges.

To Donate:

Go to The Trevor Project.org

1. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.
Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.

2. LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.

3. 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

4. The Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.

5. More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.

6. Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

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I first experienced the living presence of Mary in the Cathedral in Los Angles, as a tired, sad, homeless, suicidal, hustler sitting down in front of her figure. I found myself drawn to the piercing image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, whose eyes seem to just cut through my very being. While I had been talk in my southern Methodist background that Mary in churches was a stone cold idol, in those moments, she became real, bringing the love of her son, Jesus into my heart. I was reborn. And she has been with me on my journey since.

And on a cold night in Minneapolis, standing on a bridge thinking of killing myself by drowning, Our Lady of Sorrows, stood by me, and through my friend Cale saved my ass. The vulnerability of her suffering opened her humanity to me, in doing so I opened my humanity to others.

I think of Jamey a 14 year old boy, whose death by suicide on September 11, 2021, brought a heart breaking suffering to his parents and friends.

In the weeks leading up to his death, Jamey's online posts became increasingly heart breaking, revealing how overwhelmed and trapped he felt by the constant harassment, and bullying. He was told by a teacher, and friends to "toughen up". Believe me words can kill. His parents have continued to struggle, suffer.

I think of Joel, 18, who found himself a girlfriend, Cindy 18, on line. He fell in love, and they gradually became sexual through their posts. One night she suggested he meet her at a near by motel, and they could really have some fun. The Cindy he was met by an man, who told him his daughter he had been "screwing with" on line was 13, and if he did not give him $5000.00 the texts would be given to the police, his parents, and his school. Terrified, Joel hung himself.

Jesus knew the needs for companions in suffering. In those moments he invited Mary and John into being a new family. He invites us, each and every one of us, into a family of people who love without judgment, will listen, pay attention to the cries of another.

We can find in Mary a companion in our sorrows and a model to follow by sharing our gifts of being present, and non-judgmental to others as we stand in solidarity, in their times of suffering, sorrow and grief. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!

"In a world where children are starving and dying because of war, it seems obscene beyond understanding that any of us should be concerned with any one else's sexuality (race, creed, color, politics)_."

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"When you live in culture war mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love!"

(Dan White).

=================

To Donate:

Go to The Trevor Project.org

1. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.
Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.

2. LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.

3. 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

4. The Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.

5. More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.

6. Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

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1. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.

Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.

2. LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.

3. 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

4. The Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.

5. More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.

6. Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

"Then he looked at his disciples and said:

'Blessed are you who are poor,

for yours is the kingdom of God.

Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled.

Blessed are you who weep now,

for you will laugh

Blessed are you when people hate you and then they exclude you, revile you, and defame you on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice on that day and leap for joy, for surely your reward is great in heaven, for that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

But woe to you who are rich,

for you have received your consolation.

Woe to you who are full now,

for you will be hungry.

Woe to you who are laughing

now

for you will mourn and

weep.

Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets" (Luke 6:20-26, NRSVue).

=============

"I fled down the nights and all the days; I fled Him down the arches of the years; I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways

of my own mind, and in the mist of tears. . .

Fancies as lost I have stored for thee at home;

Rise, clasp My hand, and come!

Ah, fondest, blindest, weakness,

I am He Whom thou seek-est!

Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me!"

(The Hound of Heaven by Francis Thompson).

I remember a cold, snowy, night in Minneapolis thirty-five years ago, standing on a down town bridge over the Mississippi River, contemplating jumping. I thought my life was over with.

Three years before I had gotten off the streets, went back to school, receiving another Master's. I had gotten a job working with street youth in a new LGBTQ agency directly on the street. The agency, which had released some info, which was meant to be confidential, subsequently they were hammered, and finally closed, and since I was the "counselor" got blamed for the giving of information. I had been betrayed. I was tired, not knowing where to turn.

Suddenly I was startled by a hand on my shoulder, and I turned seeing sixteen year old Cary, one of the street kids, I was working with, going through a cycle of suicide attempts himself. I smiled, and he grinned, and said, "Cut the bull shit River, every time you have found me here, I was going to jump and you have the look as well!"

For hours we stood there, and I poured my heart out to him, he listened, and said, "You always "tell me this is just a small skirmish, the war is not over, finish the war." Cary took me home, tuck me in, and slept in front of my bedroom door and the next morning I work up to a big breakfast he cooked.

In those moments, the wounded face of Jesus appeared to me in Cary!

In the years to come each time a suicidal thought came to mind, I remember, "the battle is not over yet!" Cary died of AIDS seven years later, holding his hands he smiled, "River the battle is over now!" He died.

It has been a number of years now, since suicidal thoughts have run through my mind, and through simply listening to others without judgment I have found in the words of Cardinal Suhard, my meaning in life:"In such away that one's life would not make sense if God did not exist", and bringing into my heart the words of Pope Francis:

"All religions are paths to reach God. They are--to make a comparison--like different languages, different dialects, to get there. But God is God for everyone. If you start to fight saying 'my religion is more important than yours, mine is true and yours isn't, where will this lead us.'

There is only one God, and each of us has a language to arrive at God. Some are Sheik, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and some Atheist, Christians; there are different ways to God--through simply loving God, and your neighbor as yourself".

As I move into the Autumn of my life I am continually struggling on the path of discipleship demanding a special strength, as evidence by the spirit of our Gospel, in which Jesus calls to embrace a way of discipleship radically different from this world--a way of poverty and humility that inevitably involves the cross.

So I remind others: "the war is not over, this is only a skirmish", and never judge another for their darkness is as dark as yours. Listen to them! Love them! Care for them! Walk with them! There darkness is just as dark as yours--meet them with the compassion of an equal! Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!

===================================

"When you live in culture war mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love!"

(Dan White).

=================

To Donate:

Go to The Trevor Project.org

1. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.

Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.

2. LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.

3. 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

4. The Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.

5. More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.

6. Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

------------------------

A pastor once said: "Every person in the world is either emerging from a trial, in the midst of one, or headed toward one."

"So then you must perceive us-not as leaders of factions, but as servants of the Anointed One. . .So resist the temptation to pronounce premature judgment on anything before the appointed time when all shall be revealed" (I Corinthians 4:1. .5, Passion Version)!

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Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest!

On the day of Dolly Pardon's death, I watched again the movie, "Coat of Many Colors," the autobiographical story of her life.

Dolly had a coat made by her mother out of old scraps of cloth, her classmates looked at her coat and saw poverty. Dolly looked at it and saw her mother's love. The coat was made from scraps that had been transformed into love. That is practically a sacramental theology of human life.

We are forever confusing appearance with reality. We see the scar and miss the courage. We see the outsider and miss the prophet. We see the controversy and miss the vocation. We see the imperfect institution and miss people trying to make it better. We see the person who disagrees with us and ASSUME we understand their motives. And we become the Oppressors!

That is why Jesus says, "Stop judging, that you may not be judged" (Matthew 7:1).

We see the coat. God sees the stitches. We see the controversy. God sees the conscience. We see the theological preposition. God sees a human being wrestling honestly with mystery. We see the person who has changed. God sees the journey!

I think of a queer seminarian, Tim/Cynthia, who interned with Temenos Catholic Worker in the early 2000's, struggling with embracing being transgender, yet having to be closeted. To do ministry in his denomination, he would have to be in the closet, and he definitely felt called by God.

On night we sat having dinner Tim broke down crying, telling me he was planning to commit suicide. He was afraid of the rejection, and not being able to be in ministry, the rejection of his family and friends if he came out, and yet he felt called, deeply called to serve in ordained ministry.

So for the next 2 years I listened to Tim once a week, and if he had difficulty with suicidal thoughts any time.

During those years I reveled as Tim became Cynthia, and loved herself. She grasped the meaning of Dolly's Coat of Many Colors, grasping the beauty in each scrap, seeing those scraps simply as a part of many colors. Learning to put together a coat of love, meaning, and care for others. I ordained Cynthia in 2007, and she works at Covenant House as a Chaplain and Counselor. Listening, being present to another is a gift we can give to another thinking and talking of suicide.

"Enough for Everyone!"

Your banquet is spread before us, Lord, acres of bread and vast jugs of refreshing water, barrels of beer and vats of fine wine. There is enough. For everyone.

Your banquet is spread before us, Lord, the grapes hang heavy and ripe for the picking, and the fruit drops from the laden trees. There is enough. For every one.

And yet the cry of a hungry child breaks the silence of plenty, and rebukes the powerful,

who withhold their wealth.

It scatters the dice of the gamblers who bet on the price of food, and overturns the trader's tables

to send the rich away.

Your banquet is set before us Lord,

There is enough.

For everyone. Amen.

(One in 4 children go to bed hungry in San Francisco!)

==============================

"When you live in culture war mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love!"

(Dan White).

=================

To Donate:

Go to The Trevor Project.org

Dr. Edwin S. Shneidman

Dr. Edwin S. Shneidman (1918-2009) was an American clinical psychologist and suicidologist, widely regarded as the 'father of suicidology. He co-founded the Los Angeles Suicide Prevention Center in 1958 and established the American Association of Suicidology. His groundbreaking work shifted the understanding of suicide from a moral failing to a preventable mental health crisis.

1. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.

Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.

2. LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.

3. 1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

4. The Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.

5. More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.

6. Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

--------------

The Boy Behind the Screen!

Ryan

Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest!

"Jesus. .said: "I want the little children to come to me, so never interfere with them when they want to come, for heaven's kingdom realm is composed of beloved ones like these. No one will enter the kingdom realm of heaven unless he becomes like one of these!" Then he laid his hands on them and went on his way."

Dolly Pardon, once commented, "We are all pieces of God!"

------------------------------------------

Ryan was only 13 years old when his life came to an end on October 7, 2010, in Santa Rosa, CA. He was described by his family as a gentle, sensitive, and deeply emphatic boy--a child who cared about others and had so much life still ahead of him.

But behind the smile was a pain that many people never saw.

Ryan had struggled with developmental and learning challenges when he was younger, and as he entered middle school, some classmates began using some of those differences against him. The bullying started in person--with cruel words, humiliation, and relentless teasing--eventually followed him home through the internet.

Messages filled with hateful insults and homophobic taunts were sent online.

Rumors about his sexuality were spread among his classmates. In one particular painful incident, a girl pretended to like him online, gained his trust and then shared their private conversations with others, turning something personal into another source of humiliation. And perhaps the most heartbreaking part is that so much of what Ryan was experiencing remained hidden from the adults who loved him. His teachers, and Administration would tell him, "They are just playing, they are your friends!

After his death, his father, discovered the extent of the bullying through his son's computer and online conversations. He was confronted with a world of pain his son had been carrying largely in silence. Ryan's death left a family shattered.

Ryan was only 13.

He should have had countless more birthdays.

More laughter.

More friendships.

More mistakes and second chances.

More dreams waiting to become reality.

Instead, the world was left to wonder how different things might have been if someone had noticed the pain behind his smile-or if someone had simply chosen kindness when cruelty would have been easier.

Ryan's story reminds us that words don't disappear when they're sent through the screen. There is a real person on the other side of them. A child with a heart, a family, and a future.

So before you send that message, share that rumor, laugh at someone, or stand silently while another person is being torn down--stop.

Choose kindness.

Speak up.

Be the person who makes someone feel seen instead of the person who makes him feel alone.

Because you may never know the battle someone is fighting behind closed doors.

Ryan's life mattered. His story still matters. And if his story can save even one child from feeling as though they are alone, than Ryan's life mattered. His story still matters. And if his story can save even one child from feeling as though they are alone, then his light continues to reach people! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

===================================

"When you live in culture war mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love!"

(Dan White).

=================

To Donate:

Go to The Trevor Project.org

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.
Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.
LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.
1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.
he Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.
More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.
Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

----------

"When we walk with Jesus we can know that we have a fellow traveler, someone-with-us. Jesus is God-with-us, the one we can trust with our whole life, the one who shows us the way"(Fr. Henri Nouwen)!
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Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest!

For Christians, belief in Jesus, the Christ, the Son of the living God is the key to our faith.

From the moment that Francis of Assisi encountered the crucified Jesus in the San Damiano crucifix Jesus became his all in all, his hope, his joy, his love, his forever key!

St. Louis of Anjou, son and soldier of the King of Naples, found Christ, and lived life with these words on his lips: "Jesus Christ is my kingdom. If he is all I have, I shall have everything. If I don't have him, I lose everything."

Father Henri Nouwen, a great writer, a great Christian, was gay struggling with his sexuality in a Church that called being queer, "instinctively evil"! He entered into deep depression and thoughts of suicide. His writing reflected the love and compassion he found in Jesus, "forever the Key."

From the time I was twelve, I experienced Jesus as "forever the key", calling me to preach, and I was discovering what I thought, what the church and my culture said was terribly wrong-- I liked boys. I was different, and told being queer would send me to hell.

Thus began years of depression, having suicidal thoughts, and four attempts until a cold winter night standing in the center of a bridge overlooking the Mississippi River, water high, full of ice in downtown Minneapolis. I crossed over to the edge of the bridge.

Suddenly I was startled by two hands grabbing my shoulders, a homeless kid, Jamie, screaming, "River, what the hell, you can't do this, you have saved my life, loving me for who I am!"

I started to cry, as I came back across the bridge, and finding "Gratitude is not a simple emotion or an obvious attitude. .It is precisely because it challenges me to face painful moments-experiences of rejection and abandonment, feelings of loss and failure-and gradually to discover in them the pruning hands of God purifying my heart for deeper love, stronger hope, and broader faith (Fr. Henri Nouwen).

From that moment forward I knew Jesus was "forever the key! Suicide was no longer an option! And looking back there was a village raising me, and a village that saved my ass after that moment on the bridge!

I remember a night several months ago, receiving a phone call from a mother on the Peninsula, crying, her son, Zaki, was locked in his room, listening to an "A1 Counselor" talking of killing himself; I knew the seventeen year old well, a cool guy. So I called him, and he was crying, telling me how lonely he felt, and how his "A1" Counselor was basically encouraging him to commit suicide. My young friend is Muslim, his dad works in the tech industry. At school he was being called harsh names, heckled, simply discriminated against for being a Muslim.

Zaki and I talked for several hours, and his suicidal thoughts receded, we worked out a plan, seeing a Muslim therapist, staying away from social media and making some new friends in the Muslim community.

President Jimmy Carter once counseled, "You must accommodate changing times, but cling to unchanging principles, and one of those unchanging principles is the Great Commandment given by Jesus: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. "

Jesus is "My Key" to life, for others there are different "Keys" centered in love and non-judgment.

"From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved,
we are faced with the call
to become who we are!"

(Fr. Henri Nouwen).

Be A Part of the Village Raising A Child!

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!
------------------------------------------

(Committed Suicide)
"Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:1-2).
===============

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10-14 years old.
Third leading cause among 15-24 year olds.
LGBTQ+ young people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide.
1.8 million LGBTQ+ young people 13-14 consider suicide each year in the year United States—and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.
The Trevor Project found 39% of LGBTQ+ seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, including roughly half of transgender and nonbinary youth.
More than one billion people or 14% of the global population, live with a mental disorder.
Every year over seven hundred thousand people die of suicide, and account for every one in every hundred deaths globally. For every suicide death, there are twenty suicide attempts.

Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest!

A crisis of mental health is plaguing our world. Anxiety and depressive disorders are the most common mental health disorders, which make up more than 2/3 of all mental health conditions.

Those living with these mental health disorders are severely under served. Community based mental health care consistently remains underfunded. Mental health care for the homeless, and our population in poverty have little or no care for their mental health.

My young friend, "Janice", in our photo was a young man, of 16 years old, transitioning to female, running away from home, to Polk Street. Her parents had wrestled with her for years over catching her dressing like a girl, wearing make up etc. They spewed out religious garbage over being trans, and wanting to be the gender she was not born as. They took her to prayer meetings to pray the sin out of her.

She was taken to a psychologist who had her placed on anti-depressants and pushed her away from her feelings, and desires. And so she ran away, to Polk, hoping to find a home. Over the next three years she struggled, living on the street, ultimately committing suicide by cutting her wrists on a dark night in Hemlock Alley.

Five years ago, on my birthday, I was in Palm Springs, getting ready to go out to dinner with friends. My phone rang, and I answered it with a call taking me into the depths of hell.

Sam a 16 year old young man from Texas whom I first met when his youth group came to the City for a mission trip the year before was on the line. During the trip he shared with me he was queer, miserable, alone. There was no therapist, no pastor in his area whom he could talk to. I put him in touch with The Trevor Project through whom he received peer counseling and support. As he became more comfortable with himself he let it slip to his best friend, he thought he was "gay". And all hell broke lose. In the cow boy culture he was made the target of jokes; rejected, his minister prayed over him, and then kicked him out of the church.

In talking to me Sam said, "I can not go on!" and pulled the trigger of a 45 pistol. He was dead, and I was shattered.

Our mental health system, formed through our capitalistic system which is not created to serve minorities, queers, and disenfranchised, but sees through a lens of a white capitalistic system. Although it plays an integral role in the degradation of our mental health system, the ultimate degradation comes from people simply turning their faces away from the problem, because of fear, prejudice, and simply not caring. Saint Maximilian Kolbe once said: "The most deadly poison of our time is indifference," and at times our society seems to drink more and more of the cup of indifference.

The "Mystical Body of Christ" acknowledges the Divine Presence of God in all humanity. The Divine Spark of God is in each one of us.

And as much as we try to meet the needs of others through our capitalistic system, it will always be broken. For no religion, no system in the world is greater than kindness. No Scripture is deeper than compassion; No system or religion is holier than love. (paraphrase of an unknown author).

Professionals like Dr. Karl Menninger, and priests like Fr. Damien of Molokai have been leaders seeing people with compassion, working with them one on one.

Listening, and truly giving people compassion without judgment is the hardest task in the world. And doing that task brings the greatest joy even when it is painful.

Fr. Henri Nouwen once said:
"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts. To enter into the places of pain. To share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery. To mourn with those who are lonely. To weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak. Vulnerable with the vulnerable. And powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.

There was a minister in Washington D.C., thirty five years ago, who worked with the homeless. One day he himself committed suicide saying, No one cares! I have failed! He was one of the ministers who inspired a young queer kid, who at the time was a whore, to follow in his footsteps. I remember him when I feel like giving up, and turn my face forward in his honor. While nothing seems to change, like Martin Luther King, Jr. look close and you will see that, "The Arc of the Moral Universe is Long, But it Bends Toward Justice!"

Join me in walking with those who are having difficulty, one step at a time, and in so doing you may save a life! People are hurting, really hurting in all walks of life!

Help move "The Moral Arc Towards Justice!" Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

=================================================

Matthew 15: 24-28 (Passion Translation).

"Jesus said, 'I've only been sent to the lost sheep of Israel.' But she came and bowed down before him and said, 'Lord help me!'

"Jesus responded, 'It's not right for a man to take bread from his children and throw it out to dogs.'

'You're right, Lord,' she replied. 'But even puppies get to eat crumbs that fall from the princes table.'

Then Jesus answered her, 'Dear woman, your faith is strong! What you desire will be done for you.' And at that very moment her daughter was healed instantly."

===========================

Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest!

Surprise is the theme of our lectionary readings for the coming Sunday (sounds like a dessert from the 1950's).

We hear the "surprise moment" when Jesus reveals himself to his brothers--for many years earlier they had sold him into slavery in Egypt bringing years of pain and torture-and I am sure they were terrified of his revenge. He is now the Prime Minister of Egypt, with basically supreme power.

Through the years I am sure Joseph hated his brothers with a passion, imagined all sorts of pain he would like to inflict, but through the years his heart became opened to a loving God, who used him to become a tool of caring for others. Joseph gave credit to God--and surprise! He loved his brothers.

My own story is one of brokenness, condemnation, being thrown out into the streets, smeared by the church which loved and cared for me from the day I was born--but than swish, in the brink of an eye, being queer, I was no more!

I came to despise, hate, and want revenge against God, his representatives. And yet through the years God's Spirit worked within my heart, bringing healing, care, and showing me into a greater ministry, one for which I was intentionally called, to the those at the bottom of the barrel whom Christians ignore, judge and turn their backs on!

Paul is also wrestling with the "whose in and whose out" question. His ultimate question in the book of Romans is not whose doing what with their sexy-bits, but that the
Gentiles have full entry into God's reign of justice, too.

I have a confession to make-I do not believe everything happens for a reason. Last week and acquaintance told me, "God has a purpose for you being shot and having COVID at the same time!" It took all of my moral strength, biting my lip until it bled, not to deck them. I believe that in the framework of life evil exists, and that sometimes we are impaled upon its sword tip-"shit as they say happens"!

And here is the other thing I believe--we humans can make meaning out of the meaningless. It takes everything that I have to find meaning in the work of selfishness, unending and uncaring pain and death. It is easy to be in depression, despair, seeing it as humans being simply humans. To throw up our hands and wave it a way, "there is nothing we can do about it."

But I believe we can use our pain to create beautiful things like loving and caring for every human being and living creature. For I see in the worst, the despicable, my enemies, the face of immortal God. We are all children of the Almighty.

I believe everything can be baptized and redeemed.

I do not believe that God wills cancer, or any disease, divisions in our politics, and our hatreds of various races, creeds and sexual orientations. I believe that God is with us in the places of excrement and makes life more bearable and sometimes even more beautiful, not in spite of excrement, but right there in it.

I believe in a God who is in relationship with us and I believe that relationships change those who are in them--even God.

Look at Jesus in our Gospel--he was focused on the Jews at first in his ministry, keeping up his exclusive bull shit, comparing the Samaritan woman to a dog: "Its not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs," and then the feisty woman throws right back at him, "Yeah, even the dogs get crumbs from the Master's table."

And, finally the light dawns, and Jesus gets it. Maybe he isn't just sent for the "Chosen People." Or, put it another way, maybe he finally figured out that closeness is a helluva more expansive than even he thought it was.

Eckhart Tolle tells us:

"The Kingdom of Heaven can never become an object in consciousness, because it is consciousness itself. This is the secret of life, and it is so simple"

Human beings are the one's who create boxes--to keep people and God under control.

But God isn't controllable. And the foreigners, the outcasts, the undocumented immigrants, the women, the disabled, the queers, the young boy in our photo, the poor...they're demanding that God throw some crumbs their way. And God shockingly, is inviting them to the table.

Surprise!

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Deo Gratias Thanks be to God!

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"When he summoned famine against the land and cut off every supply of bread he had sent a man ahead of them, Joseph had been sold as a slave. His feet were hurt with fetters, his neck was put in a collar of iron; until what he had said came to pass, the word of the Lord kept testing him. The king sent and released him; the rulers of he people set him free. He made him lord of his house and ruler of his possessions, to instruct his officials at his pleasure and to teach his elders wisdom" Psalm 109:17-22 NRSV eu)."

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". . .Peter answered him, "Lord if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come". So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord save me!" Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him saying to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, Truly you are the son of God" (Matthew 14:28-33, NRSV eu).

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Surely, its the worst kind of betrayal when you own siblings sell you into slavery. Mind you, this is after they plotted to kill you and after they threw you into a pit with no water to drink while they ate their fill. I am always impressed by Joseph's resilience. Like how? How did he not give up and wilt?

Contrast Joseph with Peter. We give that man such a hard time for doubting and sinking. But maybe that is not the point. Maybe the point is that Peter-the mere human walked on water. Then he freaked out also. Wouldn't you? When he started to sink, Jesus pulled him back up.

Joseph had some undeniably bleak days (years)--in a pit, in a prison, as a slave. Surely his faith wavered. I can imagined that along the way he had a friendly cell mate who kept him afloat or that Joseph received an occasional sign from God. That he was not alone.

Because we all despair, and the waters threaten to take us under. That's human.

Resilience does not come from sheer will power. Resilience is one part faith, two parts friendship. It's a team effort. Resilience is made possible when there is a hand to hold tight, one that keeps you from going under.

What I have learned through these years is that God works through a "Framework", "God's Framework."

The Framework is very much alive. See I think time has no meaning where God is concerned. Past, Present, Future? These are concepts that we limited beings need to navigate the Framework. But God sees the infinite fabric of time. God knows everything that may even occur, with all potential outcomes. These are the paths of the Framework, all events, their potential effects--all woven together.

We are all born into the Framework with gifts, convictions, a calling. A sense of direction that guides on the journey of life. But even God can only hope we reach our intended destination.

Because things like, war, poverty, divisions among us, homelessness, get in the way, the results of free will.

When we are faced with a decision, we can follow a righteous path--the one of love, care, respect God would ask us to walk or take a destructive path. All of our decisions impact us. Framework is like a cosmic chess game to God. Every piece has a mind of it's own. Some move against the God of love and others move with it.

When human choice causes a critical part of the Framework to fail, when failed Framework results in human suffering, who can God depend on among us to ease the suffering, or set things right?

My choice is to pledge myself to the Risen Christ, who brings all together in his words of non-violence, unity, and love:

"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all of your mind, strength, and will, and your neighbor as yourself!"

And in doing so, "All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well,"(Julian of Norwich).

Simply let go, trust, and love, no matter the pain, for "all will be well!" Deo Gratias Thanks be to God!

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". . .Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him unto day break. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, "Let me go for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go until you have blessed me." So he said to him, "What is your name?" And Jacob said, "Jacob". Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans and have prevailed." . . .So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying "For I have seen God face to face, yet my life is preserved." The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip" (Genesis 32: 22-32, NRSV ue).

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Genesis 21:8-21; Psalm 86: 1-17; Romans :1-11; Matthew 10:24-39

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Journal of An Alien Street Priest!

Now is the time of year in the Northern Hemisphere known as "the dog days of summer." Officially the unofficial season gets its name from the rising of Sirius, "the dog star, so called because it follows up on the heels of the constellation Orion the Hunter. It's no stretch to say that the name could come from the wise ways canines endure summer heat--lie down in the shade, drink lot's of water, don't over exert themselves. August in the the southern part of our country as always been seen as the "dog days of summer."

I remember long days laying on the front porch drinking sweetened ice tea, sleeping on the same porch, and simply being lazy. My favorite time of summer.

Yet this year August is beginning not as a time of relaxation, but of trauma, and illness.

Jacob wrestled with God all night, and I am wrestling with God as I have in the tough times of my life. I do not know why they were fighting in the first place. But I do understand what it feels like to be in the middle of a conflict when the other party refuses to engage, turning a reparable issue into an open wound.

I am wrestling with God over seeing meaning in my own life over the suffering surrounding me more and more each day; suffering brought on by fighting, hatred, over political differences, judgements over how people live their lives. I am torn a part, people judge! Simply neglecting people at their feet suffering from no where to sleep, eat, or health care.

The world is filled with suffering from hunger, lack of housing and medical care, war rages every where--and our country spends millions, even billions on war. This is the way it has been from the beginning of time--so what's the use?

I am wrestling with God over seeing meaning when I am literally shot, only protected by a vest, because I care for another human being who, yes has done wrong, but still deserves to be loved. Jesus loves each of us, no matter who we are, and calls us to love one another.

I am wrestling with God over a young man and young woman, killing themselves over being queer. Their parents pushing them out of their homes with a Bible in their hands.

At one point in their midnight scuffle, the stranger-who-turns-out-to-be God is ready to call it. After all they have been fighting all night. But Jacob insists,"Not until you bless me." The divine wrestler agrees to Jacob's terms.

My interpretation: This is a God who is in it for the long haul and doesn't call it quits.

The psalms reveal this same persistence. The psalmist complains, cries out, demands answers, but none of it scares God off. God is not threatened or repulsed by our questions, our emotions or our demands.

When Jesus feeds more than 5000 people, he has just gotten the news that his cousin John the Baptist, was beheaded. He tries to carve out alone time for his grief, but the people follow him. They have needs. And despite his pain, "he had compassion for them"(Matthew 14:14).

God does not leave. God does not abandon us. Does not block our number. God stays. God's a fighter who always fights for us.

Three quotes I hold on to with all of my might:

"Human love can fail, friends may walk away. Even the strongest relationships can be shaken. But the love of Jesus is constant, unwavering, eternal."

"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts. To enter into the places of pain. To share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human" (Henri Nouwen).

"Christ looked at everyone he met. At the prostitute, at the thief, and saw the beauty hidden there. Perhaps it is distorted, perhaps damaged, but it is beauty nonetheless, and what he did was to call out the beauty" (Anthony Sourozh).

Our service if compassion to others is the rent we pay for our room here on earth! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for there by some have entertained angels unaware. . .So Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood. Therefore let us go forth to him outside the gate, bearing abuse for him. For here we have no lasting city, we seek the city which is to come"(Hebrews 13:2; 12-14).

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To Be Silent Keeps Us Pilgrims!

Fr. Henri Nouwen

Words often leave us with a sense of inner defeat. They can even create a sense of numbness and a feeling of being bogged down in swampy ground. Often they leave us in a slight depression, or in a fog that clouds the window of our mind. In short, words can give us the feeling of having stopped too long at one of the little villages that we pass on our journey, of having been motivated more by curiosity than by service. Words often make us forget that we are pilgrims called to invite others to join us on the journey.

Peregrinatio est tacere "To be silent keeps us pilgrims."

There were was one apple tree which made an impact on my life. The apple tree was the remnant of a past apple orchard, from an orchard at in my home yard.

I took one bite of the sour fruit and declared them crab apples, just like ones that were cleaned up when they fell in our yard.

In my childhood my grandmother would gather our apples. She saw much value in what others dismissed as "deer food" or a nuisance to be raked. The apples were treasures to her. She made jams and apple butter, apple tarts and apple pies. She brought her delicacies to her church bake sales, provided refreshments to her women groups, and shared them with us showing hospitality. She took her apple treats to the poorest of the poor in our community.

My grandmother talk of her apple treats in saying how in giving them they reflected on how God's love is inclusive and expansive loving us all, unconditionally and with out exception. Christ calls us to do the same. In what ways do I miss other fruits? I wounder. How may I be blind to the best parts of the people in front of me? When I am quick to judge people, I may miss other fruits.

To be a Christian is to love our neighbors without exception. We are called to turn against hate, exclusion, and rejection. And time and time again, we acknowledge our imperfections and invite God's grace to redeem us despite our sins. Sin is in our way of treating other people as different from us. We are called to be inclusive.

So why does judgment come so easily to us?

Pounded by media of all kinds, in the last few weeks I have been a bit judgmental toward self-described social media evangelicals, politicians, and people in general who don't give a damn about our undocumented, and documented immigrants, people who are homeless, and judge people of a different color and economic level. I had an email from a person telling me how with all the harm, judgment, and pain in the world, he finds everything useless.

It is when we apply critical, harsh judgments to others we allow love take a backseat. Our judgments are so often unloving; they wound and divide us. They separate us from the love of God. s

I received a phone call from an sixty-three year old ex-convict on Thursday, crying, and I mean crying, because he had no clothes, food, and only had temporary shelter. I told him I would take him out to lunch and gather some items. He suddenly started crying, and said, "You treat me like I am really human!" I laughed and said, "Buddy we are all fools, we are simply Children of God, and always welcome in His eyes!
Our judgments are often unloving; they wound and divide us. They separate us from the love of God. Who are we to act as judge and jury. Only God can do that.

What if we reserve our strict codes of behavior to our own lives? "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone" (John 8:7). That gives us plenty to work on, doesn't it?

Embodying the love of Christ calls us to suspend judgment of others and double down on love and compassion. As with apples, it may be time to mix the sweet and sour. Let's listen more and look for God's presence in each person we encounter, let's sit outside the gate with Jesus assisting him in loving every one. Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

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The New Apostolic Reformation
is:

"When you live in Culture War Mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love"(Dan White).

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Matthew 10: 38-39; 42 (NRSV)

"and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he loses his life for my sake will find it. . .And whoever gives to one of these little ones a cup of water because he is a disciple, truly I say to you he will not lose his reward."

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Journal of An Alien, Gay Street Priest:

I am gay. Being gay is why I abandoned the institutionalized church, or rather it abandoned me when it kicked me out on the streets, in the long familiar way it abandons their gay children, especially their trans children. Ask yourself in the progressive churches how many have youth programs for LGBTQ youth? How many talk about the issues that are tearing queers, especially youth a part?

What I want to say to progressive Christians is: The question before you is not whether you have worked out every theological disagreement about gender, medicine or ministry. Most have not. That is allowed, it is healthy. What is not allowed if the gospel truly means what it says, is abandoning people to state violence and social erasure because you have not finished thinking. Theological uncertainty is a reasonable condition.

Abandonment is a decision. Jesus sees no color, sexual orientation, gender etc--he only sees his children.

Serious defense of trans neighbors requires naming them explicitly--from the pulpit, in pastoral letters, in press statements, at coalition tables--as members, children and siblings. Refuse, and I mean refuse loud and clear to let the conversation about LGBTQ people in public life quietly shed the "T"!

Let join as the New Apostolic Reformation organizing against all acts that decriminalize people of all colors, religious expressions, and people fleeing their countries.

Violence towards LGBTQ is rising across the country. Violence is rising against homeless street kids, again adults who are homeless; people with political differences, who dress or act differently.
I have experienced violence recently simply because I am working with someone going on trial for murder.

Lisa m Bowers tells us, "The basic overall definition of violence, would be "a de-personalization of a person"." It says another human being is not a person.

Violence depersonalizes any person when when thrown at any person who is "different" from us.

Violence has been thrown at me when criticized for how I dress, being a queer priest, who I talk to and hang out with. Simply because I am different.

Violence permeates our lives, we all live with, and do violence in one way or another.

Fr. Henri Nouwen, a gay priest, gives a start to how we can eliminate violence:

"Since my vocation like Peter's
is to be led where Jesus wants me to

"Feed His Sheep."

I have to be willing to lay down my life for them.

This might in special circumstances mean dying for others,
but it means first of all making our own lives, our own sorrows, our joys our despair and hope, our loneliness and experiences of intimacy--available to others.

As sources of new life one of the greatest gifts to others is ourselves."

The creed, chosen personally, and fits the image of The New Apostolic Reformation is:

"When you live in culture war mode there is always a battle to fight, a side to be taken and people to fear.
When you live in God's Kingdom there's always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, an an enemy to love"(Dan White).

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!
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Matthew 10:37-42-Cotton Patch Version:
"The person who hoards his life throws it away, and the one who abandons his life for my cause discovers it. .Anyone who gives only a glass of plain water to one of these little people, aware that he is my student, will by no means, I tell you, go unrewarded."

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Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest:

That's right: Who is in first place? No, I am not talking about the World Cup of Soccer, or who is in first place as a bull rider in the rodeo.

There are so many first place holders that can be hard to keep up with (tennis, ice hockey, NCAA teams, spelling bees, and so many more).

So who is in first place?

Well, what does the gospel reading for Thirteenth Sunday of Ordinary Time tell us Jesus says-- He should be in first place--in our hearts. Ahead of fathers, mothers, children, and although Jesus does not itemize these--aunts, uncles, grand kids, siblings (what??), friends, sports, cars, schools, stars of stage, or screen, singers, influencers, and on and on.

Jesus wants to be our Number One.

Jesus wants us to love all people and nature because it is through loving them, we meet Him.

And those may simply seem like words. For me these days there are days when I struggle with doubts, of even believing in Jesus.

So many tell us that Jesus does not exist, there are our Christian Influencer's, who are presently talking of Pride, of queers as sinners, going to hell. They will be at Pride hounding people with the "true way" to salvation, which means homosexuality is a sin. What they do is frankly turn off people to a spirituality that is open and affirming. Jesus sought to bring his reign, his reign of love to everyone, his instructions were to "Love your neighbor as yourself!"

Early this morning going for tests at Kaiser I passed by tents like the one above, my stomach became nauseated pondering the pain, and fear, and feeling guilty--simply going to Kaiser to have a check up.

My life is spent caring for people without housing, health insurance, food, with people simply walking by; I am working with a young guy soon going on trial for murder, I see people in the City struggling each day simply to make it, there is death of so many in the Middle East and Africa--and people do not seem to give a damn!

And I know, that even in my doubts, I continue to hear a still, small voice, which summoned me many years ago to follow him. In making him Number 1, my life has been full filled to its fullness, it has been a life of great joy, for all that ever makes sense is to treat each person as the broken body of Jesus. I see in each person the Crucified Jesus.!

For when we love Jesus most of all, we bring Jesus to everyone with whom we interact. For He reminds us:

Anyone who gives only a glass of plain water to one of these little people, aware that he is my student, will by no means, I tell you, go unrewarded.

We can show Jesus is number one through the way we treat others, with no judgment, our respect for creation, by building his kingdom by restoring relationships, by restoring peace and justice. We can show Jesus is number one, by giving to those outside of our on door, and on our doors!

Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

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Genesis 21:8-21; Psalm 86: 1-17; Romans :1-11; Matthew 10:24-39

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Journal of An Alien Queer Street Priest!

"Incline your ear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Preserve my life"(Ps. 86:1-2). When Hagar, in our Genesis readings, finds herself forsaken and alone in the desert with her boy Ishmael, she can not even muster a prayer like the psalmist's, asking for help. She was low at the moment. Hagar was the woman brought in by Abraham to have his heir when Sarah could not, but then, when Sarah gave birth to her only son, Hagar was kicked out into the desert to die. They were shoved aside as no- bodies, as queers, shoved out of the memory of the prevailing culture.

Yet in this story, God hears them, sees them. God delivers. And yet today God is hearing the voices of LGBTQ people who increasingly feel uneasy and afraid:

We live in a moment marked by attacks on diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives.
We see efforts to remove books from libraries.
We witness legislation targeting transgender youth.
We hear public officials question the legitimacy of same sex marriage.
Fear to advocate for safe spaces for LGBTYQIA?+
Fear to publicly oppose bullying, discrimination, and dehumanizing rhetoric directed toward LGBTYQIA?

Howard Thurman wrote that " the religion of Jesus emerged as a resource for people living under conditions designed to deny their dignity.

Throughout the Bible we see the inclusion of all people:

The prophet Samuel heard God declare:, "Human beings look at appearances, but God looks at the heart" I Samuel 16:7.
The Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8 occupied a gender category that did not fit conventional expectations, yet he was welcomed into the Christian community.
Paul proclaimed that there is no longer Jew or Greek, slave or free, male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).
Jesus repeatedly refused to reduce people to labels. Tax collector, Sinner, Samaritan, Leper. Foreigner. Jesus looked beyond the category and saw the person.

Today, I remember our own "Ishmael". He was 17 when I first met him on the banks of the American River in Sacramento. I was walking along the river, and this cute boy jumped out of his tent, smiling, running up and started walking beside me. He wanted money, but I took him for some food.

Thus beginning a relationship which would last for eight years. Ishmael shared with me that he was kicked out of his home by religious parents because they could not fix his like of "men". He was sent to a "conversion therapy" program, where they tried to pray him straight, and that did not work. So they made him an emancipated youth and kicked him out on his own at 16.

He "hustled", and stole, and begged his way of making money. He was told he was " feral", "a social misfit, by a counselor in a local youth program.

Think about hearing those words, that you are " feral ", " a social misfit ", especially if you are young? Take a moment--how would you feel? Those same words were used to describe me when I was in the "conversion therapy" program, my denomination placed me in. Those words tore me to pieces! In many ways they pushed me to the streets of L.A.

Ultimately, he simply gave up and embraced the life of living in a tent on the side of the river, making money anyway he could, not believing in his own self-worth.

For eight years, I usually saw him once a month, or he would come to the City to see me. I was his Story Catcher, we skated, had good food, went to movies, simply what good friends do. He had some surgery and I rented a hotel room in Sacramento and stayed with him for a week.

One Winter night, a storm arose in Sacramento, the area where his tent was located flooded, took everything with it. I received one text after that "River, thanks for being my best friend, bye". That was the last time I heard from Ishmael! I truly believe he is loved by the Divine on this journey, and one day, Ishmael will be in God's arms! And we will be together again!

Today I was blessed with Anthony and Dr. Angela, who have come to visit and work on the street since August, 2022. Anthony was shorter than me, and a 7th grader. Now he is taller, and going into his Senior year. Both have a heart of gold! They are two of the most compassionate people I have known,

They love feeding people and giving socks, water, blankets, toothpaste, soap, and deodorant to our brothers and sisters on the street. Both treat them equally, as brothers and sisters. As Dorothy tells us above: our LOVE will transform our actions into the loaves and fishes that feed many!

Today, Angela asked me why I was so quiet towards the end of our time together. And what I did not really tell her is every time I come home from the Tenderloin, my heart is overflowing with the pain and their being treated as "social misfits" by society. But I own the words "feral" and a "social misfit"--I do not want to fit into this society of riches, of neglect, and power.

In all three of our stories, and during our Pride Week, God hears them. God sees them. God delivers. And so today, on behalf of the LGBTYQIA+/Homeless+ young men and women whose throats are hoarse from crying, for the parents and society whose words and actions have left them out in the cold, for all those whose voices have been silenced, I join the Psalmist and pray: Give your ear, O God. Answer! You are good, steadfast, so listen. Today, right now, is the day of trouble, and we call on you. You will answer. You must answer. You said it yourself, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall on the ground" without your knowledge (Matthew 10:29).

"Save the child of your maidservant, O God" Psalm 86:16). If possible, use me. I'm available. I am not afraid of those who kill my body but not my soul (Matthew 10:28). In fact, come after me, come after me, and I will meet you with my eyes and faith! I am afraid of losing my soul if I forget about the children, which includes all adults! I would rather die in their service! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

"During those days, Saul, full of angry threats and rage wanted to murder, wanted to murder the disciples of the Lord Jesus. . .Just outside the city, a brilliant light flashing from heaven suddenly exploded around him. Falling on the ground, he heard a booming voice say to him, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?'. .Saul replied, 'Who are you, Lord?' 'I am Jesus, the Victorious, the one you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city, where you will be told what you are to do"(Acts 9: 1, 3-7, THE PASSION VERSION).

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Come Home! by Fr. Henri Nouwen

"Jesus is the host who wants to gather us around the table, the Good Shepherd who invites his people to a table where the cup is overflowing (Ps. 23). This is not a stern, harsh Lord, but the Lamb of God who says, 'Come into my home.' We can read the whole Bible with this image in mind. God is continually inviting us to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of our life (Ps. 27:4). The Lord wants to be our home."

----

John Wesley, founder of Methodism, popular preacher among the working class in England, came to a living faith and experience of the grace of God, when one night at Aldersgate, he found his heart "strangely warmed".

The core of his message was that Christianity is based on the experience of God's grace, which bears fruit through a life of love. Wesley said, "When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart." He died at the age of eighty-eight, lifting his arms and saying, " The best of all, God is with us!"

Both the Apostle Paul and John Wesley encountered Jesus, and both discovered God was continually inviting them into (his/her) house, for the "Lord wants us to be home!" It is a sacred invitation given to each one of us--we are all invited into God's house.

Both Paul and John Wesley grew in their journeys of faith, through hardships, and letting Jesus use them as they worked with people, they remained centered focus on Christ. They ultimately as their lives came to an end loved people, for simply who they were, without judgment. Both had one conversion experience after another as they found the face of an ever-loving Jesus.

At twelve years of age, at a campfire, in the Ozarks, I felt my heart "strangely warmed". From that moment forward I knew my life was was called ministry; and that journey lead me to seminary, to serving local churches; being kicked out of the denominational ministry for being "queer"; (in the photo above, painted of me by a former "john" who wanted to give me a gift as I left the world of prostitution I am clear eyed, sure of myself, sure of the God who called me at twelve; a few days after my experience with Our Lady of Guadalupe. I was invited to "Come Home!"

The years since have been a joyful time! Through coming to Polk Street, struggling to survive, having a second conversion experience in calling me back to the ordained ministry; probably the greatest conversion experience was through the death of Zach, coming to see all creatures simply as creatures of God, deserving of a life of having a quality of life of food, shelter, health insurance, and love. Coming to not judging others. "Come Home!"

Through Zak's death and sitting with Hollywood Dave as he died, again, I was invited to "Come Home!"

With all of the pain of the Queer community over slogans worn at baseball games; the fundamentalist idiots on "Instagram", "Face book", "Ticktock" preaching their hate messages, politicians doing the same, and the history of the Church fanning the same Gospel through the centuries it is easily understood, why so many have come to hate, despise, and fear their message. The message of the Gospel has always been to "Come Home! All are welcome! I can personally testify that the message of Jesus is to Come Home!

My own personal experience is found in the words of Dan White, Jr.:

"When you live in a Culture War Mode, there is always a battle to fight, a side to take, and people to fear.

When you live in God's Kingdom, there is always a stranger to welcome, a neighbor to befriend, and an enemy to love."

It is no secret that I have some metal objects headed toward the center of my brain and threats on my life have intensified, plus as some have like to point out I am no longer as young as I was once was, therefore I need to prepare for illness, etc. well, as a friend once loved saying in a negative manner, " You are a child" , God's child actually, and I live in the present, trusting in the care of my heavenly Father. And continue to believe, and strive for what Fred Rogers said many years ago:

Every day I pass people, and talk to them, who are sitting on a corner, laying in a door way, who are in desperate need for food.

There is one man who is seventy-eight years old, in a wheel chair, and sleeps ever night in the doorway next to my building.

Actually in the last few years there is no place I have gone in the United States, where I have found no one homeless.

And so while thinking of our brothers and sisters on our streets, our doorways, I find myself reflecting upon a remarkable headline: Humanity now possesses its first trillionaire!

Not a billionaire. But a trillionaire. A single person who possesses one-thousand billion dollars. A person who is working on robots to perform all human service functions, and suggests giving every American a thousand dollars a month. A thousand would put all of us on the streets in San Francisco, it will not cover one months rent.

As part of my morning prayer, I cannot help but wonder what Jesus of Nazareth would say about such a moment. I suspect he might begin with a parable about a poor man--let's call him Lazarus--sitting outside the door--I call him Susan, David, James--begging outside my door.

As Bob Dylan asked many decades ago, "How many times can a man turn his head and pretend he doesn't see?"

Jesus constantly spoke about wealth. Not because money is evil. Because money reveals what we truly love.

The rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16 are separated not solely by a door. They are separated by wealth and indifference. The rich man daily saw the Lazarus suffering outside his door--and yet somehow, he never truly saw him.

Sound familiar? We turn our own eyes away from the neighbor at our doors, and streets.

The moral question is whether any economic system that creates trillionaires alongside starving children can be considered healthy.

The goods of creation is intended for everyone. Not merely for those fortunate enough for those who acquire them.

This is why the early Christian community in Acts 4:32-37 held possessions in common and ensured that no one was in need. Imagine that-- Due to their generous sharing no one was in need.

When I think of Christian greatness, I do not think first of billionaires:

I think of St. Francis of Assisi stripping himself of wealth.
I think of Dorothy Day welcoming the poor.
I think of Oscar Romero speaking for the voiceless.
I think of Mother Teresa holding dying people in her arms.
I think of the countless unnamed people, who feed and care for people in our City.

The saints measured success differently, perhaps they thought of success in these words by Elizabeth Gilbert:
You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures.

St. Basil the Great understood our lectionary reading for Monday well: "Learn to generously share what you have with those who ask for help, and don't close the heart to the one who comes to borrow from you"(Matthew 5:42, The Passion Translation)" when he wrote:
"Are you not a thief if you treat the possessions given to you to administer as if they were your property? A person who takes away the clothing of another is called a robber. Does somebody who refuses to clothe the naked although able to do so deserve any other name? To the hungry belongs the bread which you keep from him, to the naked the clothing you preserve in your closet, to the barefoot the shoes which you let rot, to the needy the silver which you have buried." No resistance. Non-violence.

Transformed by the mystery of the cross, such a path is life-giving and affirming and has the potential to change the world. Deo Gratias!

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Athletes from every corner of the world have come to Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara for the World Soccer Olympics.

On Friday night, they came into the Stadium happy, singing, laughing, wearing their particular jerseys. There are so many different languages bringing beauty to the world around us. There jerseys are beautiful, every color and design one can imagine.

The question for me raised is: What if we treated others off the field with the same dignity, respect, and care we do before the games began. We really are not the jerseys we wear, simply human beings, in search of love and healing.

Human beings continually divide themselves into tribes, and in those divisions we find ourselves thinking we are more superior than all the other tribes, thus conflict. The danger we believe our jerseys are who we are.

Today is the Feast of St. Anthony of Padua. He was a Franciscan, powerful preacher, and a fierce advocate for the poor. He challenged economic abuse of the poor and insisted that faith must transform life.

And his mission reminds me that in our June MENTAL HEALTH MONTH FOR MEN, how far we are from the transformation of the lives of many men.

On the street, I see people, mostly male, suffering severe mental illness--nearly fifty percent-struggling with trauma and addiction.

The criminal justice system is a symptom of deeper mental health challenges that have gone untreated for years. These men and women do not wear jerseys that identify and give them protection, they are the rejected of society.

St. Anthony once said, "Do you want to have God always in your mind? Be just as he made you to be. Do not go seeking another you". We need simply to simply to see ourselves as struggling human beings trying to get along in this life, whether we have money or not, facing our need to walk with the struggles of others without judgment.

We need to work for the state to drastically expand health care in the mental health system. The state needs to expand its substance abuse treatment, with more beds, both hospital and living spaces.

Secondly, tear down the silos between the divisions of state and local systems and create integrated systems that help coordinate between courts, county, clinicians, law enforcement, and service providers.

Effective treatment is both compassion for the those served, and accountability for the system.

Stabilizing people mentally ill is one of the smartest public safety investment that we can make.

I have suffered major depression (mental illness), and having insurance that covers treatment has been the key to my wellness. (that depends on who your ask, ha)!

Let us be more than the jerseys we wear, but people who walk with others, and listen to the words of our lectionary readings for today and follow the reign of God:

"When he saw the vast crowds of people, Jesus' heart was moved with compassion, because they seemed weary and helpless, like wandering sheep without a shepherd. .Go instead and find the lost sheep. And as you go preach the message: 'Heaven's Kingdom realm is accessible, close enough to touch. You must continually bring healing to lepers and to those who are sick, and make it your habit to break off the demonic presence from people and raise the dead back to life. Freely you have received the power of the Kingdom, so release it back to others" (Matthew 9:36-10:8; The Passion Translation).

Deo Gratis! Thanks Be To God!

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All across our nation, communities of faith are rising to the occasion to support immigrants and their families - our neighbors, coworkers, family members, and friends - who have been singled out due to the policies of mass detentions and deportations, and now face extreme hardships and live in fear of separation from their loved ones.

Throughout our City, a multitude of community and faith-based efforts have been mobilized to respond to these threats in significant ways.

Immigrant families across the Bay Area are facing severe hardship right now. You’ve probably heard the stories of families torn apart without due process, parents nervous about leaving their homes, and elderly and pregnant people afraid to seek health care.

Our Bay Area immigrant families need your help. The Stand Together Bay Area Fund will be distributing funds for needs such as rent and food through community partners to ensure they reach families in need.

Temenos Catholic Worker is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, contributions to The Immigration Defense Fund are tax-deductible.

Checks payable to Temenos Catholic Worker with a notation in the memo line for The Immigration Defense Fund may be mailed to: P.O.Box 642656, San Francisco, CA 94194, or on donators through pay pay.

=======================

Suggested Reading:
Decolonizing Therapy: Oppression, Historical Trauma, and Politicizing Your Practice
By Jennifer Mullan, PsyD

Matthew 9:9-26 (The Passion Translation):

"When those known as the Pharisees saw what was happening, they were indignant and they kept asking Jesus' disciples, "Why would your Master dine with such lowlifes?

"When Jesus over heard this, he spoke up and said, "Healthy people don't need to see a doctor, but the sick will go for treatment". Then he added, "Now you should go and study the meaning of the verse:

I want you to show mercy,

not just offer me a sacrifice?

For I have come to invite the outcasts of society and sinners, not those who think they are already on the right path?"

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Journal of A Queer, Alien Street Priest!

June 8, 2026

Last Saturday I spent all day, 10: a.m. to 11: p.m., watching the series, Band of Brothers, following a group of soldiers on their journey through World War II. And through out the day and evening there were ads for support of the agency Wounded Soldiers, an agency that works with injured soldiers.

Both pointed a clear sign to the wastefulness, injury, and uncaring leaders of war. Any form of violence destroys the image of God in humanity.

The violence that I see, have experienced on the street, and being Queer, have sometimes pushed me to doubt there is a God. Yet always God is present and loving me.

Our Gospel stories today reminds me in the eyes of Jesus no one is disposable.

As we enter PRIDE month we have been hearing of violence towards our Transgender brothers and sisters, as well as all Queers in our nation. There is a new poll (Rodriguez) showing support for rights in of the LGBTQ community continues to decline.

During PRIDE MONTH invite each person to see PRIDE as a promotion of the rights of

the LGBTQ Community. Also I would like to point out the translation in the Bible of the passages used against Queers were introduced in translation in 1946 by a homophobic interpreter, and have mistranslated the ancient texts in a homophobic manner.

This struggle many people have over LGBTQ? rights, and equality is best illustrated in the struggle my friend, Chris Montesana describes in his introduction to my book:
"An Introduction to the Work of Temenos Catholic Worker!" (Chris Montsano)

In 1968 I was a new young volunteer at the Catholic Worker in New York City on E. 1st St. There was a newsletter that came to the New York Catholic Worker from a Catholic Worker house in San Francisco California called the Good Soup Coop. I read it and was annoyed by it and brought it into the office where Dorothy Day was surrounded by a group of men in the office. I came in and said “ This is terrible, these gay people are exploiting the Catholic Worker Movement.” Dorothy looked at me sternly and said in a sharp voice, “Someone must minister to gay people!” I didn’t know it then, but I know it now that some of the men in the room with her were gay men! I was being chastised for speaking rudely in front of them. However, unknown to me, I had been given a ministry!

This ministry did not begin to unfold until in 1971, when I was asked to help begin a new Catholic Worker House in San Francisco, CA, which was named Martin de Porres House of Hospitality.

I had held the traditional Roman Catholic Church views about gay life which at the time was that it was OK to be gay as long as you didn’t engage in homosexual activity.

I was vocal in community meetings about holding this perspective given by the church. Over the five years, that I was at The Martin De Porres house, our community grew to include People with all different kinds of sexual orientations. After the birth of our second child, we asked a young man who had been a former Franciscan to be the Godfather of our second child at her baptism. He said yes, but later on came to us in tears after I had been vocal about following the churches teaching about gay life in a community meeting. He told us he was a gay man and he engaged in sexual activity. This was a very important turning point in my life to begin to separate myself from following that strict approach to listening more to my fellow brothers and sisters of different orientations.

In 1976 a group of us from The Martin de Porres house community moved to sheep Ranch, California to start a Catholic Worker farm. We did various different ministries there for our earlier years, and in the early 90’s a Franciscan Priest, Fr. Richard Purcell, who himself was gay and later died of AIDS, had a home for people dying with AIDS in San Francisco, decided to bring up a group from his house to be able to be out in the country at our farm.

Another Franciscan Priest, Fr. Joseph, was the driver for Fr. Richard. Fr. Richard and Josef suggested that we began a AIDS ministry on our farm, offering it as a chance for people who are dying of AIDS to be in the country on a retreat.

This was the beginning of our AIDS work and ministry. I now realize that this was the fulfillment of the ministry given to me by Dorothy Day years prior.

We got an 8 passenger van and began driving people from the San Francisco Bay Area to our farm for a 4 day retreat.

Thanks to my wife Joan, she instructed us to listen to people’s stories.

When people came to our farm for retreat, we tried to serve good healthy food from our garden as well as milk and cheese from our goats on the farm. Also, we served our healthy organic vegetables as well.

When we began these retreats, it was before there was any recognition of gay marriage. We simply sat and listened to the stories, we were told by the people who came. We heard stories of people being beaten up after coming out of a gay bar.

At this time, in the AIDS crisis to find out that you had contracted AIDS was like getting a death sentence.

Another story we were told was about how difficult it would be for a partner to take care of their loved one's once AIDS began to get worse. They had to place their loved one into a a medical facility that could take care of them. Often times what they shared, was that after their loved one passed away, the family that rejected their loved one, now swooped in and took control of whatever was of value. They were left with nothing. Often times they had been together in a relationship for 15 or 20 or more years. Sometimes this included losing their living space and they then had to struggle to find a safe living space and proper medication and healthcare to take care of themselves.

What I now realize was that these men were teaching me about love. My wife and I every year on our anniversary reread Paul’s dissertation on love. “ love is patient, love is kind, it does not take account of wickedness, but rejoices in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, and to endure, whatever comes.” These men were teaching me about how to live this kind of love. Our society often scapegoats gay lifestyle as a lifestyle of sin. That is simply not the truth.

This is why later on when I encountered River and his street ministry and his work with prostitutes, drug addicts, alcoholics, the homeless and the least of our brothers and sisters, I found his work intriguing. I did come from our farm and visit River and went out with him when he passed out food and clean needles. I did this a few times, but then with my work at the farm and our hospitality work and protest work at the Nevada Nuclear Test Sight , I didn’t have the energy to continue visiting River.

The years passed by, and the Pandemic hit, and my wife was in the hospital at UCSF in San Francisco with a life and death surgery because of a blocked colon. Over the years, I had been in touch with River by phone and also reading his blog. I told River about my wife’s situation and he came to see me and brought me a burrito. River explained to me that he gets confused at the parking garage at UCSF and could use help finding his vehicle. So I went with him on a walk about looking for his vehicle. What I noticed as we walked was that there was a definite limp in his walk. I know I had read in one of his blogs that he had been beaten up by one of his friends from the street who was high. I could see how his ministry was now being born out in his body. I was touched by this kind of care and commitment. He did not bring any charges against the person.

I continue to keep in contact with River by phone periodically and continue to read his blog. He asked me to speak at his 30th anniversary of his ministry Work. I was happy to do so.

This is a unique ministry that River has been carrying out over the years. As you read his book, you may find yourself challenged or upset. If this occurs, I recommend the following procedure. Stop and spend 20 minutes saying the following prayer. This is a a prayer I have composed. From the time of Pentecost and from David the Psalmist .

“Spirit of Christ, Breathe New Life, Breathe True Life into my Being.” on you’re in breath say “Spirit” and on your out breath, say “of Christ”. In breath, say.” breathe” , out breath say”New Life, in breath say “ breathe”

and out breath say, “True life” and and in breath say, “into” and out breath say, “ my being. What I’m trying to do here is reflected in this quote From Richard Rhor:

“If our prayer goes deep, “invading” our unconscious, as it were, our whole view of the world will change from fear to connection. We won’t live inside our fragile and encapsulated self anymore, nor will we feel any need to protect it. In meditation, we move from ego consciousness to soul awareness, from being fear-driven to being love-drawn. That’s it in a few words! “

From reading, Rivers writings, I am hoping that you will come to see that there is no one who is in or who is out. What is hardest for us to recognize is that God is all in all. It is his Spirit that breathes throughout all of creation.

Please read River and pray as well and with God‘s grace a new awareness with the The Authority of Compassion by Fr. Henri Nouen: "If we now realize that future generation is not only an inward generation asking for articulation but also a fatherless generation looking for a new kind of authority, we must consider what the nature of this authority will be. To name it, I can not find a better word than compassion.

Compassion must become the core and even the nature of authority."

Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!

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"Revolutionary Message!"

Mary's Song of Praise: The Magnificat

Luke 1
46 And Mary 1 said,
"My soul magnifies the Lord,
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
50 His mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
51 He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
52 He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
and lifted up the lowly;
53 he has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
55 according to the promise he made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and to his descendants forever."

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I love a good statement on sweat shirt--half my closet is filled with wearable sermons.

I often wear a sweatshirt that says, "Tis the season to bring down rulers, to fill the hungry, to send the rich away empty"--I like to imagine the conversations that shirt stirs up when I am out on the street.

Throughout history, Mary's Magnificat has been deemed dangerous by various oppressive regimes--by the British during the rule of India, by Argentina in the 1970s, by Guatemala in the 1980s, by the Mexican government at various times in the twentieth century, by the migrants in the 1980s and 90s in California and now by ICE--and it is hard not to see why. Mary is downright feisty and unabashedly political.

Mary comes to those who are down and out, poor, and crushed by the whims, beliefs, of others.

She came to me early one morning in the L.A. Cathedral, beaten down by a society and a church who used mental health professionals to basically destroy my identity, telling me I was "intrinsically evil" for being gay.

From that moment forward, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and Our Lady of Untying Knots, later have been my mother, whom I turn to, in my deepest, most desolate moments, and never fails me.

From my adolescence, until the present, therapists, clergy, and psychiatrist's have always "tried to figure me out", put me in diagnosis, label, and categorize me, and end up calling me a "mystery". The church put me in to various forms of therapy, to "change me" to being straight, but when they wanted to electroshock me, I walked out and ran to L.A.

I tend to remind people, the words of Peter Maurin, They say that I am crazy because I refuse to be crazy in the way everyone else is crazy", and more recently the words of St. Carlos Acutis, "Everyone is born as an original, but many people end up dying as photo-copies!

I have tried to be a "photo copy" but like Peter and Carlo I follow the "Wild Goose", in a different way.

In the years that have followed I found two therapists, who were narrative therapists, simply listened, met me where I am, and my gayness, became simply a part of my life. One opened my eyes when she said to me: "River, you have been rejected, threaten, beaten, homeless, and all other types of abuse, and you have survived. You will never be happy, but you will be content, and satisfied in ministry. Follow your conscience, your instincts, and all will be well."

Traditional therapy to has been developed by a white society, seeking to maintain control, within its cultural values.

Being queer, black, Hispanic, etc, in the minority, with different cultures, and mental health perspectives; our present mental health system began creation in the early part of the 20th century by white cis- gender men, influenced by the need of the white majority to develop systems to keep them subservient, and in their place; The DSM 5 places people in categories or labels, and once they are set you remain in that diagnosis. We are all different!

There has been a development of "Decolonizing Therapy" through the years, whose main points are:

1. We can not meet people in minorities with the white approach! We meet them in their cultural understanding.

2. We must meet others where they are, as equals, not in a position of power.

4. We listen, and walk with them on their journey. We do not walk with people as fellow humans, equal, caring.

This is very simplistic presentation. Through the decolonizing approach have I found life, healing, and vocational direction.

One of my favorite quotes (Coates) tells us about being on the street: The streets transforms every ordinary day into a series of trick questions, and every incorrect answer risks a beat down, a shooting, or a pregnancy.

Coates expands on this assertion by listing "guns, fists, knives, crack, heroin and all illegal drugs, rape, and disease" as some of the elements that assail Black victims, and I insert Hispanic, queer, and other minorities on the street. He asserts that such vulnerability is not accidental; Instead it is the product of an intentional policy of forcing people to live under fear.

The street, changes a person, my life of upper middle class white male, was changed forever, from my time on the street. This ministry, the way it has been shaped, comes from that time on the street.

This painting saying "Fu ..k you is by a young man seeking assistance, and being told there was nothing for him unless he wanted to move off the street. This program, like most of our programs, are developed like a round hole, and he was trying to enter by a square nail.

This program is a good program for some, but not for all, especially those living on the street for months and years. This young man wanted to live his on the streets, and sell some very cute items he creates. Shane says: "I want to live where I am free, can go where I want to go, and owe no one."

I terrify traditional counselors going to to the street, simply listening or I call it "Story Catching", being friends with my soul friends. They have soul-wounds going back generations.

The one learning in meeting people where they are is unless we are a part of their culture, race, creed, we are allies. For example being straight makes it impossible to understand what it is being LGBTQ?, there is no way one can understand their internal struggles, and development when one has not experienced it.

One can not experience their present daily struggles. One can be an ally. It is like people who have wanted to work with me in ministry will come, and run away because their experiences are difference, and it is difficult being an ally.

My experience on the streets with Our Lady of Guadalupe, transformed my life into one of love, caring, and service. It was transformed into:

". . telling with a sigh
Some where ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
(Frost)

And by showing me "There is no wilderness so terrible, so beautiful, so arid and so fruitful as the wilderness of compassion. It is the only desert that shall truly flourish like the lily."

Compassion trumps all other cards in caring for people and nature.

Mary isn't a solitary radical. God's message for us has always been and continues to be revolutionary!

Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!

Mark 10:32-45

"A Third Time Jesus Foretells His Death and Resurrection!"32 They were on the road, going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus was walking ahead of them; they were amazed, and those who followed were afraid. He took the twelve aside again and began to tell them what was to happen to him, 33 saying, “Look, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death; then they will hand him over to the gentiles; 34 they will mock him and spit upon him and flog him and kill him, and after three days he will rise again.”

The Request of James and John35 James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 36 And he said to them, “What is it you want me to do for you?” 37 And they said to him, “Appoint us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.” 38 But Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” 39 They replied, “We are able.” Then Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized you will be baptized, 40 but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to appoint, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.”

41 When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. 42 So Jesus called them and said to them, “You know that among the gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 43 But it is not so among you; instead, whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.

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Journal of An Alien Street Priest!

We are living in a time when we blame others, rather than looking at ourselves and seeing our part in the unrest. We need to ask ourselves, What kind of world we want to live in?

Jesus proposes a world in opposition to the strict, familiar hierarchy and political world of his day. Obviously there is a "rule" or governance in it for a society with out laws, without order, without offices is impossible. It could not stand. But here "rule" is something completely different. It is pure service that dare no longer support itself on propaganda, power and violence. This kind of rule is powerless. It cannot fight for or compel something of itself. It can only ask for understanding, and it can only attest, bear witness, and serve. Therefore it must reckon at every turn with being misjudged, insulted, despised or eliminated. So the question imposed to all of us is "Are you able to follow the road of love for all creatures?"

Richard Carlson summarizes the these words of Jesus in the present:
Recently I was sitting in a restaurant and what I thought was an old friend walked in, and I smiled, and he began ripping me a part with such anger, "I saw you having a meal with a Republican last week. You are betraying God, and every one of us who support your ministry, I will no longer give you money! And he walked out leaving me in tears. All I saw in the woman with whom I had lunch was a friend, and donor. She is a good friend.

We need to ask: "Are we able "to choose to be kind?

Each day walking out my door I see people suffering. Suffering from lack of food, for loneliness, and rejection, suffering from being mistreated, abused, and rejected.

Recently an older homeless gentleman in a wheel chair said to me: "I simply want to die, I can not stand living outside, and with people around me who are always putting me down."

An undocumented 17 year old ask "Why can't people see me as human, instead of dirt?

Recently on the street in the Haight two young, white, well-dressed men, came up to me smiling and handed me a leaflet, "My friend have you been born a gain? Have you been born anew?" They continued on "witnessing to me". I laughed and responded, "Let me ask you a question, have you been born a new in seeing the pain on the street, in your midst, and helping through feeding, simply listening and caring for the "least of these our brothers and sisters? They walked away.

I could care less what people believe, what counts is the way we relate to others (Matthew 25:31-46), I only care about wakening them up to the need on our streets, across the globe in the Middle East, Africa, and everywhere where people are suffering.

We need to "catch on fire" and be kind to every human being and animal around us.

We need to answer the question of Jesus, "Are you able? by catching on fire with kindness! Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

=====================================

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"Tend Your Fire!"

"Let us live hour by hour, day by day, and leave the future to God" (Blessed Hendrina Stenmanns).

Numbers 11:24-30

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24 So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord, and he gathered seventy of the elders of the people and placed them all around the tent. 25 Then the Lord came down in the cloud and spoke to him and took some of the spirit that was on him and put it on the seventy elders, and when the spirit rested upon them, they prophesied. But they did not do so again.

26 Two men remained in the camp, one named Eldad and the other named Medad, and the spirit rested on them; they were among those registered, but they had not gone out to the tent, so they prophesied in the camp. 27 And a young man ran and told Moses, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” 28 And Joshua son of Nun, the assistant of Moses, one of his chosen men,[a] said, “My lord Moses, stop them!” 29 But Moses said to him, “Are you jealous for my sake? Would that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put his spirit on them!” 30 And Moses and the elders of Israel returned to the camp.

--------------------------------------------

Eldad and Medad are two of my favorite characters, but for some reason, no one ever talks about them. I have never heard a sermon on them. We miss out when we have not read this story, for it is a story which speaks through the ages.

Moses gathers the other elders at the tent, the holy place. But not Eldad, and Medad. They are back at camp, regular old common place camp. And the Spirit finds them there, the non-sanctioned place, and they begin prophesying, which the rebel in me adores!

Joshua, one committed to helping Moses, is a stickler for the rules--a bureaucrat is aghast. Prophecies coming out at the wrong time in the wrong place by the wrong people? My God, it is an outrage! It's a scandal! And it must be stopped at all costs.

Only Moses does not stop them. "Would that all the Lord's people were prophets!" he pines longingly (Numbers 11:29). Rather than gatekeeper, Moses gate opens, and it's beautiful. It is the meaning of Pentecost centuries before Pentecost happens! Pentecost tenders our fire in times of darkness!

Technology, representing money and power, now stands as the gate closed by the bureaucrats, the extreme wealthy, and our politicians. It is used to seduce us, to telling us that more and more will increase our society in wealth. And in cutting jobs, we are seeing the middle class and lower class enslaved, by having fewer and fewer blue-collar jobs. Many are being left behind!

Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and their friends have said the day is coming when we will no longer need to use humans for the majority of our work. We need some Eldad's and Medad's to challenge our present society and call us back to seeing humanity as precious and creative.

Recently, a bus passed by, and sprawled across its side was a sign that read:

"GO WITH A I-GET RID OF HUMAN ERROR!"

At the same time, I was reading a newspaper article of where Mark Zuckerberg was laying off 8000 employees and replacing them with AI.

Technology can have a sacred value when it provides healing, support for humanity. But when its aim is for the profit of the few, demeaning many beneath the wealth of the minority, it is becoming a form of secular deified religion, and society becomes evil.

The task of the Christian and all spiritual expressions is "to create a new style of life--desacralizing the idols of modern society--politics, technology, wealth, and the marketplaces.

Jacques Ellul says: "Christians should be troublemakers, creators of uncertainty, agents of a dimension incompatible with society."

Here is the message of Pentecost: Open the flood-gates. Unclasp all tongues. Anoint all willing mouthpieces. In a world full of Joshuas, be an Eldad. Be a Moses. Be a Medad. In a world full of censorship, below. In a place where voices are silenced, hand out megaphones with abandon. In the swirl of voices claiming to be an authority, take time to listen to the ones on the fringes, who have not been fully sanctioned.

"Tend your fire until the morning!"

Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!

--------------------------

"Therefore let those suffering in accordance with God's will entrust their lives to a faithful Creator, while continuing to do good" I Peter 4:19).

For sometime now, I have been walking in the thin spaces, between this world and the next, and I continually hear Jesus saying the Kingdom of God is now!

It is a struggle to see that the Kingdom is now, yet when I look into the face of the Josh's of the world, the little children, I find myself learning from them the Kingdom is present.

Children are alive, radiant, energetic, carefree, and fun-loving.

They live in the moment and are able to let go of themselves to completely focus on whatever they are engaged in. They are adventurist and live life to its fullest. They are spiritual without being aware of the Divine.

Fairy tales that are for children, yet for all of us, portray a kingdom of make-believe, in which we are called to deal with the dragon of evil all around us, destroying them and bringing us into the way of love. They live in the moment.

My friend Matt, who is now 27, was and still is in many ways a child when I met him at 13. Playful, fun-loving, mischievous.

When he was 18, I had an injury and had surgery. It was one of the most difficult times I experienced, and Matthew took me home with him, taking care of me.

One night, we were outside, and I had been having trouble taking a shower. As we went in, Matthew picked up a bucket of cold water and poured it over me, saying, "Now you have had your bath!" He was always a kid!

He once asked me, " What is God like, where is he?" I looked into his eyes , laughing, " I see the loving and caring God in you! God is present in your love and caring unconditionally these past days, and years now!"

I remember having lunch with a wealthy donor one day, and a homeless young man walked by and asked me for some food, I bought him lunch.

After he left, this person commented sarcastically, "You really are a child!" A comment which was repeated to me through the years several times. At first, it felt like an insult, until I studied the words of Jesus, and so now it is a badge of honor. For in the past 31 years, there are very few days that go by in which food is not given, and never do I refuse anyone who comes into a restaurant and asks for food.

I met a young man, Sean, on a mission trip, living in the East Bay. He was 14, and like Matthew, he never seemed to leave, always coming back.

At 16, he received a diagnosis of leukemia, and I walked with him and his parents through this journey. It was fast-acting. We talked a lot about God, and we developed his memorial service. He died at Stanford late one night, with his parents and me present.

His memorial service was in a skate park, where everyone was invited for a picnic and a service. After the meal, we had our service, and the conclusion was his friends and I skating, carrying his skateboard and a large poster of Sean skating. To me, this was one of the best memorial services I have ever conducted--acting like a kid.

The Kingdom of God is now when we give ourselves to another with unconditional love, expecting nothing in return.

Jesus was a lover of life--when asked what the greatest commandment was, he said: "Thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and your neighbor as yourself!"

Jesus teaches us the secret of living a good life is to live each day as if it was our last, and loving all creatures!

To enter into the Kingdom of God NOW, we need to:
Become a Little Child Again!
Live in the Moment!
Love Your Neighbor!
Deo Gratias! Thanks be to God!

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