"What is the Price One Pays for Loving Their Work?" or "What is the Price of One's Passion?"
And Jesus said to him: "Whoever has put his or her hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the realm of God."
As I read this passage, my memory returns to a night standing in my dad's store with this elderly black woman, Lucy. That day I had received word of the appointment to my first parish. She looked at me with love in her eyes, as she said, "Mister River remember what the Lord says-"once you put your hand to his plow you cannot look back."
Several years ago a gentleman remarked to me: "With your gifts you could live a very comfortable and profitable life. Instead, you choose to throw it away on those sociopaths." I have been referred to as a "crazy", a "fanatic", and "a stubborn fool"-but what I know with all my heart is what the Gospel tells me and of what old Lucy reminded me, that my one guiding passion since my mid-teens has been to push the Gospel plow. And once my hand was put to that plow, there was no looking back. In seminary, it would never have occurred to me that passing out needles was one method of evangelism. Mother Teresa once told an individual who wanted to move to Calcutta and live with her to "go find your own Calcutta". And so the plow has brought me to the "Calcutta" of this ministry.
What is the price of loving one's work in the way in which this particular crazy fool does?
First, there is the price of not having one's own family. Ten years ago I was thinking of being a foster parent. My supervisor advised me, "You can choose the one at the expense of the thousands." And so I chose the "thousands". And so in giving up the idea of having a family I became available to everyone. And in these ten years, my life has touched for good or bad some fifteen thousand kids.
Secondly, there is the lack of traditional comfort. I see friends I went to seminary planning retirement, and for me the word is not in my vocabulary, meaning when I die or become disabled I retire. Comfort for me means one room and the sharing of a shower, living on the generosity and grace of others, not knowing if the bills will be paid from one month to the other or when a gunshot or knife might come my way.
Thirdly, there is often the lack of respectability. A pastor friend remarked that he found the police very "charming with him." He could not understand why I had a different viewpoint of our knights in blue. When one commits a life to living and loving whores, drug addicts, people with AIDS, one has the same mud thrown his or her way. The cost for me is often being seen as one of those I serve. I am associated with and accused of the very stereotypes that my brothers and sisters have thrown at them. I was told recently by a friend that his parents were afraid at first to have me to dinner because "he might have those diseases."
Finally, there is the cost of security. Security of knowing that in my old age I will be taken care of, security of knowing where often times the next meal will come from, security in knowing that my environment is safe are all at cost. But I am reminded by Jesus, "Seek first the realm of God, and God's righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
Nero in "The Matrix" is given a choice between a blue pill and a red pill. The red pill is a new symbol of bold choice, and the blue pill is that of the status quo. I chose the red pill along time ago and in this tenth year of ministry on Polk, this pill has brought me more joy than one can imagine. I have no regrets.
I write this overlooking the Pacific, with the outstretched ocean reminding me that these days of my life are but a few drops of water in the ebb and flow of eternity, and in this ebb and flow I meet the One who is eternal. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
EUCHARIST ON SATURDAYS, 7:00 P.M.-Hemlock Alley
DAY OF THE DEAD MEMORIAL FOR THOSE WHO DIED OF DRUG RELATED USE
November 2, 2:00 p.m., Civic Center Plaza
We are beggars. As always, we are thankful for the gifts given to us to continue this ministry. During the month of September we received:
Donations: $560.00
Retreats/Spiritual Direction by River: 1900.00
TOTAL FOR SEPTEMBER: 2460.00
BALANCE FROM AUGUST 909.30
TOTAL: 3369.30
Expenses August 15-Oct. 1: 2854.54
BALANCE ON HAND: 514.46
Estimated Expenses for October $2730.00
Mailing address is above.
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As always, we are beggars, depending on the goodness and grace of others. This past month you have been Christ to many, thank you for your kindness.
If you would like to donate by credit-card go on- line to our website - www.temenos.org and use our Paypal feature.
If you have donated to us through
United Way and have not received a thank you card from us please contact us
and them. With their recent problems, we have not been receiving all of our
donations.
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Temenos is . . .
. . . a Greek word for an area that is cut off or separated. Harry Hay referred to it as "the edge of the village," a dwelling place designated by some ancient societies for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, prostitutes, lepers, and other outcasts.
Oasis is . . .
. . . a Greek word for a fertile or green area in an arid region; something providing relief or refuge.
Thank you for helping Temenos Catholic
Worker be an Oasis for so many.