Saturday, March 05, 2005
March 4
Mark 12:28-34
Last night, today, one after another, whining, crying. Jasin, whining about being dope sick, about being beaten up for robbing dope dealer. Wants money. We talk about consequnces of action but he still continues to whine, phil, justin and the list goes on, wanting money, several sick, needed a place to rest. 40ish gay man asked me is it wrong to have sex and not be married and be a christian. The scripture today speaks to me as I tried to live it out: I listened, gave two a place for acoujple of hours to rest, and shared with the older man this scripture and how we are bound by relationshjips and how we treat each other. For me this is my guiding prinic ple to do no harm, to not be abusive, and that is what I told the man. And so today goes. I still remain tired, no reports on tests, but we go on. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
March 3, 2005
Psalm 147: For as we give ourselves in love, so we receive love. (Merrils)
It is 2 a.m. I have been resting most of night, and went out for a couple of hours to do outreach.
I am still weak, worried, but I know that if I stay within myself nothing but anxiety is accomplished. I have the stephos, the steves, the nicks who just simply want to talk, not to be alone for a few minutes. None of these guys can understand why I am staying in more, they are in their own worlds of which they are the center. But for me as merrill paraphrases I keep going because only in giving love, do we receive love, especially the divine love. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Monday, February 28, 2005
Feb. 27-28
Ps. 95:1-9; John 4:5-16, 19-26, 39-42, Ps. 42; Lk. 4:24-30
“For the beloved is infinite, the
Breath of Life of all. The depths of the earth belong to Love; the height of the mountains as well. The sea and all that is in it, the dry land and air above were created by love. Ps. 95 Nan Merrill.
I took matt and peter home, coffee with kelley, dinner with stephen and to bed at 7, exhausted, just exhausted last night. This morning as I reflect on yesterday there are three observations:
First my own sense of mortality. My body is sore, I tire easy, I tear easy, not knowing what is going on, and I know that regardless my life has been fulfilling, there are no regrets; second in the paper yesterday a woman was asked if barry bonds using steroids effected her opinion of his record and she replied” “why should it, any one who gets to the top cheats, so he is doing what he has to do to get to the top.”; and I observed an elderly woman sweeping the doorstep of a church, a homeless person lay sleeping, she swept around him without acknoweldgement, recognition.
For me the scriptures speak to the living water, it is that livingwater who is Jesus that provides the hope and the strength that undergirds me as this time, and it is this living water that is the integrity that centers us in to treat each other with integrity and to acknowledge the lepers in our midst and within as Jesus present with us.
While I am afraid, there is a presence that seems to undergird me, and the calls from andrew, matt, david, elisha that always remind me I am never alone. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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