Saturday, December 25, 2004
December 25, 2004
Luke 2:6-14
The past two days have been heavy days. Great liturgy last night, gift giving was fun as always, and the loneliness and neediness of people is intensified. Made hospital calls today, b, 25, whom I met 10 years ago, is there dying of aids, he asked me to bring him gin, always the rule breaker, told him to have his doctor call me and tell me and I would, he just laughed. G, who was raped several years ago, is still in hospital from the trauma; people are higher than usual tonight turning to drugs and alcohol for their solace.
Took one kid to restaurant and as usual owner was afraid, etc.. people want solutions to the homeless “problem”, and yet they do not want to be a part of it, by just simply showing hospitality.. today I may be taking four or five more in for lunch, let that shock her.
I am often asked if I am lonely during the holidays and why I work them, and to me I am simply with my family, my friends. The story in Luke while we romanticize is not so romantic. Mary and joe, had relatives near who did not take them in, so they were in a cold barn, homeless, abandoned, the shepherds were the poorest of the poor—and yet it was to them God entered the world in Jesus.
And so tonight, tomorrow, I spend with Jesus. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
December 22, 4:00 a.m.
Lk. 1:39-45
The closer we get to christmas the needier people become. Our society builds up this expectation, and for people who have nothing, and who are alone christmas is very painful. Step. 20 is staying high, just constantly to cope with his loneliness, people are having more suicidal idealization.
For me it means that people are constantly in my face, wanting this or that. My energy is draining fast, I am almost given out, looking forward to christmas day to end, and then I will retreat and recharge. Have been having a lot of pain in the right jaw. Dentist says I am grinding my teeth from stress to the point of pain. I am tensed up, very tensed. The scripture for the 21st. brings elizabeth and mary together. They are an example of two who are revolutionaries and who have completely let go and trust in God. Elizabeth too old to have a baby, and Mary too poor and young, and so in they let go, and let God. For me it calls me to simply let go and trust and depend on God now, ultimately all is in his hands.
Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
Sunday, December 19, 2004
December17:
Mt. 1:1-17
Had lunch with laura today, wrapped gifts, picked matt up for the night, we went to dinner at neighbors down the hall. Stepho was at my door upset, begging for money because he was “sick”, angry when I would not get it for him, but a good night hanging with matt.
Through the years middle class people to a whole often asked me how can live in the midst of much suffering, see the worst, and still have a positive attitude.
The genealogy of Jesus speaks it all: his own heritage contains murderers, rapists, liars, thieves—the bible never teaches us to look for a rose petaled world. I accept suffering as a part of life, I accept the evil as a part of life, as a response of our free will, what I don’t understand I see as a mystery, and enter into the suffering with trust in God. I accept the reality of life, with trust in the resurrection. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
December 18, 2004
Jer. 23:5-8, Mt. 1:18-24
Matt and I went to marin to get tye dye stuff. I have been exhausted I watched tv, did some outreach, and then tv and to bed, I feel drained. As matt pointed out it seems he says “the moment u walk out on the street someone is always putting stuff on u, expecting u to be whatever they want.” Well that is true and it is draining. People are so needy, and sometimes in that neediness they forget that they are not the only one’s in the world. I have been there, and may be there again, hope not.
Jeremiah promises the coming of a king, but this king is one of political power, one who will bring glory to Israel, and then the King that comes in Bethlehem is one who comes in poverty, whose life will be one of poverty, identification with the poor and of seeking to bring the reign of God by changing human hearts. There is a sears commercial: taking a family to sears, picking out gifts, and the constant refrain is “”This is the good life.” Our society promotes the “good life” as that which is material goods, cars etc, but Jesus calls us to the “good life” that is within us. In my own life I have found the less materialistic I become the more fulfilled I am, the more I give, the more I receive. Jesus offers us the “goods” that do not break, and that last for eternity. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
December 19, 2004
Mt. 1:18-24
Up around 10 am., cleaned place up, kathy at my door drunk wanting needles and food, a guy needing food in his hotel, had nothing left, and so the day begins, going to brian’s birthday party tonight, lunch with stephen, moving into gear for christmas week.
I can imagine how Joe must have felt—I am sure when mary got pregnant he though “sure, an angel uh, where is he, let me kill him.” But Joe gave radical trust to God, he trusted that what the angel said was true, and he took care of Mary and Jesus.
For me that is my continual prayer, to trust completely in God. It takes a radical trust for me to live this life, and also radical doubts as well, but ultimately it is in the living out my daily life among the poorest of the poor that I find Jesus. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
|
HOME
