Saturday, September 04, 2004
Today has been hot as hell, and every time i walked out the door i found myself being pulled at and someone in need. S, 19 wanted me to hang out. he was wanting to come in an shoot up so i steered him down the street, he kept playing with himself, getting himself aroused, and exposing himself in the middle of the street. he seemed to be clueless of what he was doing or just did not care. we went into mels for me to buy him a milkshake and he went to the bathroom to shoot up, after 30 minutes i paid for his shake and left. Went to the movie and there we have 27 yr old way coming up the street, screaming at me to hang out with him and throwing a fit when i told him i was going to a movie. the drug culture is oppressive, and i find myself smothered. i wanted to take both to movie, but knew there would be drama. s talked about how money is short and that he and two others are going to do a web site to make money, not understanding that their actions and decline in looks simply drive people a way.
the only thing that keeps me going is seeing Jesus in each one of them, at times of doubt going into depression only to get up and start again. in otherwords i continue to "show up". Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
ps. if u see no blogs this week i am going away for a few days.
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THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP--Meditation at Old First Prebyterian Church, September 5, 2004
The Cost of Discipleship
GospelLk 14:25-33Great crowds were traveling with Jesus,and he turned and addressed them,"If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother,wife and children, brothers and sisters,and even his own life,he cannot be my disciple.Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after mecannot be my disciple.Which of you wishing to construct a towerdoes not first sit down and calculate the costto see if there is enough for its completion? Otherwise, after laying the foundationand finding himself unable to finish the workthe onlookers should laugh at him and say,'This one began to build but did not have the resources to finish.'Or what king marching into battle would not first sit downand decide whether with ten thousand troopshe can successfully oppose another kingadvancing upon him with twenty thousand troops? But if not, while he is still far away,he will send a delegation to ask for peace terms. In the same way,anyone of you who does not renounce all his possessionscannot be my disciple.
"So tell the people of Judah and citizens of Jerusalem My Message: 'Danger! I'm shaping doom against you, laying plans against you. Turn back from your doomed way of life. Straighten out your lives. But they're just say, 'Why should we? What's the point? We'll just live the way we've always lived, doom or no doom."
Jeremiah 18: 11
Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can't be my disciple. Luke 14
Today both Jeremiah and Jesus give us messges of extremes. On this hot summer morning, on the corner of Van Ness and Sacramento what could such extreme messages mean for us.
Two weeks ago I drove to Los Angles. I stopped near Bakersfield where my family lived a few years when I was very young. I remember the smell of the blooms of the orange trees and the orange groves that surrounded our house. Now I viewd tract after tract of houses, and the lowering in air quality has resulted in ashma in young school children being a major problem.
Each night as I walk the streets of San Francisco I witness a growing homeless population and read over the last three years of resolution after resolution from the Board of Supervisors demanding more housing for homeless seniors, and yet despite the increase in funding for that need there are still no housing and only a few shelter beds for our seniors who live on the street. Recently we have been told that poverty has increased by fifty percent this year among working mothers, and that the gap between the rich and the poor grows wider.
Global warming, ozone depletion, extinction of species--all point to signs of impending disaster that we do not heed. Like Jeremiah points out we continue to live our lives as if there are no problems.
Recently I viewed the movie "The Day After". This movie described a diaster for the United States when we had another ice age due to our abuse of the environment. Early in the movie, in one scene one scientist approached the Vice President that something must be done immediately. The Cheny clone replied: "Listen, we have been hearing that for years, right now our economy is falling a part, we must deal with the economy."
So we live our lives as if there or no problems, largely because we are concerned we might have to sacrafice the way we live our lives.
THE CALL OF JESUS TO DISCIPLESHIP
Following Jeremiahs cheerful words we hear Jesus tell us: "Simply put if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can't be my disciple.
These words of Jesus are not a call to super human piety, but the foundation of human survival. We are being told to count the costs of discipleship before we make the plunge, because what God requires of us are not half/way measures but responses equal to the growing disasters.
To take up our crosses means breaking free of the socialization that keeps us complicit with a destructive, unsustainable system. Consumerisms, possessions, hoarding, and the fascination with ever new technologies--all these keep us living so others may live simply.
Ten years ago I came to San Francisco to do a ministry of presence and to live simply because of what I saw as the excesses of runaway consumerism. I tell people that the solution to poverty, homelessness, and our environmental issues is a revolution of the heart--when people's hearts are changed to reorient there lives to sharing of their excess wealth. Recently I was asked by someone on the Homeless Task Force my suggestions. I told this person that the last time I had read of how much her estate was worth that it was 55 million, so why not over the next ten years give ten percent, and asked one of your friends of equal of more worth to do the same, and they likewise, and then we would have all the money we needed for our homeless.
The call of Jesus to discipleship is the willingness to give up what is precious to us in order that life might result. While this is more than we can hear, it is the good news, it is the gospel and it offers the hope of survival--the choice is painful--and we do have a choice, but soon we may not.
THE TABLE
This morning as we come to the Sacrament we have before us the example of the One who emptied himself that others might live, and in so doing he found life in the resurrection.
He calls us to follow him in to the willingness of emptying ourselves, and in so doing to find new life. Amen
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Friday, September 03, 2004
GospelLk 5:33-39The scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus,"The disciples of John the Baptist fast often and offer prayers,and the disciples of the Pharisees do the same;but yours eat and drink."Jesus answered them, "Can you make the wedding guests fastwhile the bridegroom is with them?But the days will come, and when the bridegroom is taken away from them,then they will fast in those days."And he also told them a parable."No one tears a piece from a new cloak to patch an old one.Otherwise, he will tear the newand the piece from it will not match the old cloak.Likewise, no one pours new wine into old wineskins.Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins,and it will be spilled, and the skins will be ruined.Rather, new wine must be poured into fresh wineskins.And no one who has been drinking old wine desires new,for he says, ‘The old is good.'"
Last night was just wild, and today is not much better. speed is the prevalent drug. people are just bouncing off the wall. There is a sense that more and more of the drug is needed to dull the pain. and when one listens to the news, and sees the lessening resources one is disheartened.
i made presentations today at sacred heart. i felt like i did a lousy job, just lousy, but the teach and i were talking afterward and the bishop requires the religion department to turn in a list of all videos and supplementary material they show to their classes.
When one sees institutions tightening, taking control, one knows they feel defeat in the air, rather than try on new wineskins, they simply go back to the old. many of the kids from the schools i work with are turned off by the churches attitude on sexuality, on life in general, the Church is losing the battle for the minds and hearts.
i have found myself thinking a lot about the institution and how all of my life i have sought validation from that institution--well it will never come, i have chosen a prophetic ministry, and that ministry calls into question the institutional values of conformity and tradition. My validity must come within and in the recognition that the love and respect i am given by those i serve is a sign of that validity. but ultimately that validity must come within, and once i let go of that need for institutional validity than no institution has control over me and i am free to preach the Gospel of the new wine skins. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
GospelLk 4:16-30Jesus came to Nazareth, where he had grown up,and went according to his custominto the synagogue on the sabbath day.He stood up to read and was handed a scroll of the prophet Isaiah.He unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written:The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,because he has anointed meto bring glad tidings to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captivesand recovery of sight to the blind,to let the oppressed go free,and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.Rolling up the scroll,he handed it back to the attendant and sat down,and the eyes of all in the synagogue looked intently at him.He said to them,"Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing."And all spoke highly of himand were amazed at the gracious words that came from his mouth.They also asked, "Is this not the son of Joseph?"He said to them, "Surely you will quote me this proverb,‘Physician, cure yourself,' and say, ‘Do here in your native placethe things that we heard were done in Capernaum.'"And he said,"Amen, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own native place.Indeed, I tell you,there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijahwhen the sky was closed for three and a half yearsand a severe famine spread over the entire land.It was to none of these that Elijah was sent,but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon.Again, there were many lepers in Israelduring the time of Elisha the prophet;yet not one of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian."When the people in the synagogue heard this,they were all filled with fury.They rose up, drove him out of the town,and led him to the brow of the hillon which their town had been built, to hurl him down headlong.But he passed through the midst of them and went away.
"Today this is happening. . ." This story always reminds me how that when one places dares to raise the question of taking care of those on the margins, one risks persecutions. to challenge the status quo means that u raise the fears of people in losing money and prestige.
today this story is happening--it is happening in the time i spent with an older drunk man waiting for the mobile assistant unit to come, it is the time i spent drinking a coke with s, 20, and listening to hear ramble on and on; it is the the time that fr. louis spends each day with a incontinent homeless man with aids each day cleaning him up and giving him a clean clothes. Louie told the story tonight of how passing through UN plaza a well dressed man asked him where a catholic church was, and louie pointed to st. boniface,the man replied that he wanted one where "those people (ie homeless) were not allowed inside." it is happening where the church allows Jesus to sleep inside in the form of the homeless.
but wherever it happens one is often rushed to the cliffs, because in that happening pelples security and comfort level is threatened. I am learning, ever so slowly, that acknowledging that reality and knowing that Jesus is with me as i "pass through", then i can continue the journey knowing that all is well. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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