Saturday, May 29, 2004
Gospel
Jn 21:20-25
Peter turned and saw the disciple following whom Jesus loved,
the one who had also reclined upon his chest during the supper
and had said, "Master, who is the one who will betray you?"
When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about him?"
Jesus said to him, "What if I want him to remain until I come?
What concern is it of yours?
You follow me."
So the word spread among the brothers that that disciple would not die.
But Jesus had not told him that he would not die,
just "What if I want him to remain until I come?
What concern is it of yours?"
It is this disciple who testifies to these things
and has written them, and we know that his testimony is true.
There are also many other things that Jesus did,
but if these were to be described individually,
I do not think the whole world would contain the books
that would be written.
slept until 2:00 p.m. ; ate lunch' 18 year old b. needed to take all of his stuff from a hotel to a guys house, which i did. he talked about taking a break from speed and how hanging out with friends was more fun. went to movie, and home.
the gospel today shows the disciples as being gossipy, nosy, and how Jesus basically tells them "it is not for u to know--it is ur job to follow."
how often we want answers to the great questions of life. why do we suffer and so on, but the reality is all we are doing is simply being like those disciples, gossipy and nosy, rather than being about the business of preaching the Message. If we preached the Message in word and deed, we would find that all we need is to follow and the rest will follow. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
Friday, May 28, 2004
Gospel
Jn 21:15-19
After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them,
he said to Simon Peter,
"Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
Simon Peter answered him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs."
He then said to Simon Peter a second time,
"Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
Simon Peter answered him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
He said to him, "Tend my sheep."
He said to him the third time,
"Simon, son of John, do you love me?"
Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time,
"Do you love me?" and he said to him,
"Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."
Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep.
Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger,
you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted;
but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands,
and someone else will dress you
and lead you where you do not want to go."
He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God.
And when he had said this, he said to him, "Follow me."
today has been a long day with back to back people, a minister from sacramento, a group from santa clara, and k, and s and the gang. went to doctor, have a staff infection, consider myself lucky, first time in 10 years. taking antibiotics.
the gospel for today is one of my favorites. if u look at it from one way it is a story of friendship. here is peter, who betrayed Jesus, not once but three times, and here is Jesus who accepts him where he is and challenges him to "follow me." we often expect our friends to have total loyalty and when they fail to we dump them. people are people and in reality we all fail each other, but the promise of the Gospel is that there are new beginnings, and that we should let our friends be who they are and love them with all forgiving love as Jesus. that is what i try to practice with these guys. k, 19 cannot figure out why i "put up with him, no one else does." well he chooses people who always wants something from him and who use him and he uses them, i have nothing to gain, and to me to give him grace is what we are called to do, he is the image of the Christ. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Gospel
Jn 17:20-26
Lifting up his eyes to heaven, Jesus prayed saying:
"I pray not only for these,
but also for those who will believe in me through their word,
so that they may all be one,
as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
that they also may be in us,
that the world may believe that you sent me.
And I have given them the glory you gave me,
so that they may be one, as we are one,
I in them and you in me,
that they may be brought to perfection as one,
that the world may know that you sent me,
and that you loved them even as you loved me.
Father, they are your gift to me.
I wish that where I am they also may be with me,
that they may see my glory that you gave me,
because you loved me before the foundation of the world.
Righteous Father, the world also does not know you,
but I know you, and they know that you sent me.
I made known to them your name and I will make it known,
that the love with which you loved me
may be in them and I in them."
"That they all may be one. ." is the prayer of Jesus. One in his love for God and neighbor, and yet we cannot even agree on how to love--and so we have estrangement, hatred, war. the papers today is full of the consequences of us humans having to have our own way rather than being one in the commonality of love of brother and sister, in the commonality of the human race. as i read through the old testament i find killing, rape and so on, we have done this from the beginning and the Bible is the story of God trying to being our friend and what do we do we stabb him in the back.
"always carring about in our body the dying of the Lord Jesus." (2 Cor. 4:10). The past two days i have seen developing on my body two abscesses, probably gotten from bandaging someone without gloves, or simply an open wound scraping me. i am in pain. i know now how s and k and v feel when they come to me with multiple abscesses, the difference is i get to see my doctor tomorrow, and they take days to see one. in many ways it reminds me that in one way or another i carry in my body the dying of Jesus in them. One way or another i suffer along with them, and that is what ministry and loving is about.
ran into 19 year old s in front of walgreens, he has been banned from there as he has from many places, wanted me to buy him something to eat which i did. he wanted to hang out with me, but i went home to rest, with him telling me to come out later, just to hang out. he creates his own loneliness and isolation as we all do, and so i move into that and try to bring some presence.
k has been kicked out of his latest sugar daddies, calling me over and over, to pick him up, and i remind him that this is his choice, so he needs to take care of himself or go home and get into the treatment and care he needs. these guys are sort of like bull dogs, u treat them nice, and they love u, but if u disagree or chastise they bite. these old men always want something in return, with me their bite turns into a broken tooth because i don't take it and they know i am here regardless. k will have to learn he cannot use people and expect to have his way all the time.
And so the cycle of pain, of rejection,of fear, continues in their lives and mine but in the midst of it all is Jesus who calls me on into Galilee. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
Gospel
Jn 17:11b-19
Lifting up his eyes to heaven, Jesus prayed, saying:
"Holy Father, keep them in your name
that you have given me,
so that they may be one just as we are one.
When I was with them I protected them in your name that you gave me,
and I guarded them, and none of them was lost
except the son of destruction,
in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled.
But now I am coming to you.
I speak this in the world
so that they may share my joy completely.
I gave them your word, and the world hated them,
because they do not belong to the world
any more than I belong to the world.
I do not ask that you take them out of the world
but that you keep them from the Evil One.
They do not belong to the world
any more than I belong to the world.
Consecrate them in the truth.
Your word is truth.
As you sent me into the world,
so I sent them into the world.
And I consecrate myself for them,
so that they also may be consecrated in truth."
"Keep them in your name." Name means presence in the bible, keep them in your presence.
tonight as i listened to 20 year old s share of his fathers death from hiv, his mothers murder five months ago and his own struggle with hiv and drugs, all i can pray is "keep them in ur presence." for that is all they have, is God's presence. no one else cares. guys like s are simply "clients", or drug addicts.
tonight i am having a several swellings, i wonder if i picked up something when i cleaned some abscesses or what it is. my throat is sore, seems to be closing up, have to wait till tomorrow to see doctor. all i can say is keep me in your presence as i pray the benediction of night prayer: may the all powerful lord, grant u a restful night, and a peaceful death." Deo Gratis? Thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Jn 17:1-11a
Jesus raised his eyes to heaven and said,
"Father, the hour has come.
Give glory to your son, so that your son may glorify you,
just as you gave him authority over all people,
so that your son may give eternal life to all you gave him.
Now this is eternal life,
that they should know you, the only true God,
and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ.
I glorified you on earth
by accomplishing the work that you gave me to do.
Now glorify me, Father, with you,
with the glory that I had with you before the world began.
"I revealed your name to those whom you gave me out of the world.
They belonged to you, and you gave them to me,
and they have kept your word.
Now they know that everything you gave me is from you,
because the words you gave to me I have given to them,
and they accepted them and truly understood that I came from you,
and they have believed that you sent me.
I pray for them.
I do not pray for the world but for the ones you have given me,
because they are yours, and everything of mine is yours
and everything of yours is mine,
and I have been glorified in them.
And now I will no longer be in the world,
but they are in the world, while I am coming to you."
Jesus raised his eyes. Meister Eckhart once said that Jesus would raise his eyes to do great work only after he had descended down into the depths of humanity. Jesus is headed for the cross, he has been in the midst of much conflict and now he raises his eyes to glory.
the past two days for me have been tiring. i have slept all day, and will sleep soon again. night before last i had 2 18 year olds in and out, one sleeping on my floor after being up on speed for days. both were talking about their various sugar daddies and how one was getting tired of them. they talked constantly of getting their next hit of speed. when they are not high there lives are not worth living they say.
i found myself feeling how despictable we can be and how desperate in the way we use people and ourselves. for me it is only in raising my eyes to God do i find the hope, the promise, that all will be well. deo gratis! thanks be to God!
*****************------------------------*****************
|
HOME
