i feel exhausted tonight. set up test at hospital in two weeks. not really worried about it for some reason. the last few days my prayer is to let me surrender my self completely to Jesus--to be able to throw myself in his arms in complete trust.
today i am reading a book on the parables and it discusses the politics etc of the day. it strikes me how nothing changes. politically the poor and homeless are expendable, and so we move them to the side--from time immemorial this has been the policy and it is always about greed and power. we chase after those idols which in the end become so empty, for when we breathe our last breath we are all the same. and so the night ends with the prayer of compline: may the lord give us a restful night and a peaceful death. Amen. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Thursday, February 26, 2004
i have spent the last two days at the beach, stormy, beautiful, peaceful. as we enter Lent I am reminded that Jesus came to share our sufferings and sorrows. and that is what the cross is about, not a payment for sin. there is so much suffering--look inour nursing homes, our hospitals, our streets, our homes, and Jesus came to share with us and to bring meaning out of that suffering. as we enter lent i will not eat accept after 5:00 p.m., and my prayer during this time is that God will help me in surrendering totally to Jesus, my fears, my needs, and ultimately jump into his arms in complete trust. i am egotiscal, i am arrogant, and i pray that I can let go, let go into the arms of Jesus. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Sunday, February 22, 2004
tonight i ran into 19 year old "ted". he is on disability and was trying to find a date, high on pot. sweet and vulnerable, sad. then d is going to try to live with the guy who promises college in exchange for bondage sex. he is leaving me address in case i don;t hear from him to call police. i told him he cannot count on promises like that. 18 year old j is struggling with his rape, he is using more and more drugs to cover it up. and so my day goes, and it ends with night prayer and content in knowing i have done my best, sinner that i am. deo gratis! thanks be to God!
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