Friday, November 28, 2003
thanksgiving day--reports are that the lines at soup kitchens were longer than ever, bush went to iraq. i went to bed exhausted, but a good exhaustion. yesterday at noon three lonely 18 year olds showed up at my door, plus the one i bought breakfast for earlier, no where to go, and wanted to be with someone. i took them with two friends to lunch. one older friend pissed me off. later in the day she said "i just wanted to spend my day with friends, not with your mission." I wanted to say, well u are my mission as well lady. i have never thought of those guys as "my mission" they were just what they are lonely, and alone. i eat with my friends, so can they. i hate that attitude from people, they separate, they divide by their stereotypes, but i remember the words of jesus, "when u to it to the least of these my brothers and sisters u do it to me." at any rate i had dinner with friends.
\and then our thanksgiving dinner in the alley, we served 70 plus, i had volunteers who prepared it, all i had to do for once in my life was open some cans of cranberry sause. friends often wonder why i don;t go to "friends" on the holidays, but "work" instead. well i am with friends. i am going out to the beach today and tomorrow to be with myself and with the best friend of all jesus, for a time of retreat. and so goes the soap opera of river sims--always interesting,k never boring, and always thankful to God for each day i am given in this ministry and life. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God! Amen and Amen!!
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Wednesday, November 26, 2003
"Through perseverence you will possess your own selves." Luke 21:19. This scriptue from the daily lesson I find to be true in my own life and the life of others. We find ourselves only when we persevere, when we stay with the task at hand. as i enter the 10th year of this ministry, basicallyl with an empty bank account, i am reminded that for the 99 per cent of that time it has always been touch and go, and that in persevering, in my stubborness, we continue, and in that perserance i truly find myself, for i learn who i am, know who i am, and in that knowledge find meaning and purpose for life. last night a and h came to my door asking that i perform their marriage ceremoney. a has been on and off streets for 10 years, and at 22 he was still on the edge, but working and had this wonderful girlfriend. so in my one room in full vestments i celebrated their union. some will say it want last, that they did not go through the required counseling la, di, da, the da, but they wanted to pledge their love and commitment and in a world that seems to no longer value commitment that was enough for me. and then there was the apostle, who at 24, sees speed as a spiritual tool, and he spent an hour talking about how when he masturbates he finds God. and we talk about how in our sexulity we do experience the heighth of joy. and then there was steapho, who cme by late, just had a hit of speed,and so was up for the night. i finally kicked him out around 3, and then he found me when i was having breakfast this morning at a cafe with a friend. he talked last night of getting a job etc, but his addiction is his first order of business and i watched him this mornning painfully move and then talk of using more. and so on this thanksgiving eve my life goes,but as always it is in the struggle and the perseverance that we find ourselves. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003
went to dentist, had lunch with maria, took a nap and worked on misc. today bear needed someting to eat, a place to store some clothes, wanted to talk about skateboarding, and then there was modine, who has AIDS, and is now in housing, but his addiction drives him to the streets. and then sepheno thanked me for my kindness to him when i let him hang out with me the other night all night. all three struggle so much, and really want the best, but have such difficulty in putting it all together and drugs seems to be the glue that holds their lives together. today angelia aliota announced for newsom who will give her power in homeless issues. politics as usual, and the tragedy of it all is these politicians would not know what it was like to be hungry a day in their lives. angela is a franciscan as she jets to assissi in her home there to pray. the people making the decisions have no understanding of people on the street, they are "problems" to be solved, and not human beings who like them, journey into eternity. not once do they have a face like the three i have named to relate to, not once have they bandaged their abscesses or held their heads while they throw up. and so the it goes as it has from day one--the rich get richer and the poor poorer, and the Poor One calls us to be his presence, to be his voice. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God! (all names pseyneums)
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Monday, November 24, 2003
my friend laura invited me to come to monterey and spend night and bring her back yesterday, i got the hell of dodge, i had had it. it was a great day. but the moment i reached my door, there was bear needing his insulin and food, and st. michael wanting some where to hang out. then down the street two were upset because of the way i had them syringes, another wanted a birth certificate ordered and i told him i had to wait to the end of the week to see how much money i had, and he could not understand why, and so it goes, the mismashed of humanity and our needs and struggles, and into this mismashed came Jesus of Nazreth and he calls us to come into this to be his presence. Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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Sunday, November 23, 2003
the past two days have been rather stressful and typical of what goes on here. i have spent a large part of time with two guys, one is st. michael, the other we will call bear. st. michael is 22, i have known him for five years, he has used speed all that time. he is bright, has had jobs, and opportunities, but continues his speed use which leave him homeless. i let him spend some time hanging out and taking a shower. the same with the 18 year old, who had not had speed for several days, had no place to go, or rather people were tired of him. both are so passive, they have no clue about what it takes to really have a life. they depend on others to take care of them, they expect to be taken care of, and when people get tired of them they see it as rejection. bear wanted to spend all day with me, stay in my place, and go with me wherever i went and i told him "no", he took that as rejection. and then going down the street, it is cold and some of the older homeless are angry and resentful. i am frustrated and right now need to get a way, just away to forget about all of this. it is difficult to see people simply throw their lives away. people think i don;t push people enough to look at their drug habits, well come here and hang out, when people are completely satisfied with their way of life there is no pushing, it is a bout a presence, a relationship. i received a letter from kevin whom i have not seen since a camp where i was a counslore at five years ago, a very touching letter, and one that reminds me of why i am here. and so kevin u made my day and i u read this email me at csims109@sprintpcs.com or call me at 415-305-2124, i would like to hear from u. u made my day, really and for that Deo Gratis! Thanks be to God!
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