Tuesday, August 12, 2003
(all names are changed, as well as ages)had a clergy meeting this afternoon, in preparation for a national meeting next month. i thought how insignificant all that political stuff really is in the scheme of things and in the context of a suffering world. met 24 year old "rio" tonight. shared with me he was hiv positive primarily to see how i would react, he said he is people treat him so differently when they know and he could see i would not. his rent is being paid by a local youth agency to be cut off this month when he turns 25, he does not know what he will do, accept sell more pot. there were some new "johns" gawking on the street tonight, alot of people all over the place with speed. i am tired. am going to pacifica tomorrow to take my day off, i am just exhausted. deo gratis!
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Monday, August 11, 2003
streets are rather slow,sunday night. but we have the ghost just picking a fight with whoever he can, not knowing what he is dong out of his mind on drugs; tiny's face is swollen, sleeping on the sidewalk; the artist haranging me for more food, and i tell him no after he has had his share and he just gets mad and pouts. it would be nice if we lived in a world where there is an endless supply, but that is not reality. southern comfort is trying to pick up a date, between doing lines of speed in the alley. had dinner with a priest friend of mine today who just vents, and vents, dinner was simply miserable. sometimes i really am impatient with adults in my life who have everything but seem to demand so much. and tonight i feel simply drained, just drained.
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Sunday, August 10, 2003
it has been in the 80's today. last night was a strange night, a lot of police presence, a lot of paranoid people. early this morning i spent time with 22 year old leo, and 21 year old southern comfort. leo talked of being kicked out of his california home for being gay, his constant need for speed, for making money, his loneliness; southern comfort just got here from a southern state and talked about being on speed for the past four days, its great high and now his painfulness in body and his cravings. he talked of his deep loneliness. today the reading was from John 6:35, 41-61 where Jesus said: " I am the bread of life". in the greek when he talks about eating that bread it can be translated that of a ravishing eating, one needing to fill deep needs. Jesus is that which fills our deepest needs. he calls us to see him as that Center, that dwells within that can fill our emptiness, and our longings, those ravishings hungers. we can look outside of us all we want, but ultimately it is in that One that we find that which satisfies.
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